Carers Group: 9th December

We had a full session discussing a variety of subjects.

Behavioural issues

A carer’s wife had become increasingly reluctant to wash and change her clothes. She is reluctant to go out. Other group members had similar experiences with their loved one. Techniques were suggested such as: running a hot steamy shower to entice use; using dry shampoo; finding someone who the person is sufficient relaxed with for personal care. This led to other examples – while it was difficult to get one person to leave home, it was even more difficult to get then to return – they said “It’s not my house. Why would I go in there“. A very reasonable argument, when you do not remember living in the house in question. Another example was someone who would not have his hair cut. This was not completely true – he would only let one person cut his hair – this did not seem unreasonable.

Transition to a Care home

A group member had achieved agreement that her mum would continue to be funded under the Continuing Care arrangements. Her care home was good, but mum did not like any changes which gave rise to stress all round. Mum’s avoidance of change also meant that a when her daughters faced the test of clearing her house, they also had to deal with all their father’s belongings – he had died several years ago, but everything had been kept.

Hair care and a mattress

A group member, who continued to try to come to terms with the difficulties her husband is facing and the changes to their lives, gave us some interesting examples of change. He is keen to be tidy and his OCD coupled with dementia has led him to tidy a wide variety of household items. When his mattress needed to be moved, there was a big reveal of all the items that had gone “missing” in recent weeks. He is also keen to ensure his hair is in good order, so he will use anything in a spray can for the job. Another example of someone’s logic being quite reasonable, but the solutions are a little unorthodox.

Who’s in the mirror?

Two members have loved ones who believe pictures move, the television is real, or that they have a friend who lives in the mirror. Their Lewy bodies dementia is fascinating, can be working and/or reassuring. You can read more on the NHS web site here.

We also reviewed many of the issues we have discussed in previous sessions. Tatiana’s handout, from last year, on coping with Christmas was snapped-up by group members. It is here.

See you in the New Year,






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