Carers Group: 9/05/22

Mental Awareness Week

Janet – read about this year’s topic – loneliness – including 5 steps for well being. You can read the articles that Janet based her talk on here.

Stress

The husband was going out by cab, enabling him to feel independent. His mobility is getting worse, but other things are affected too – it’s a constant star of flux. He contradicts himself all the time. He used to go out not long ago, but is not able to any more. It’s hard getting him in and out of the car and his wife has stopped leaving him on his own. A member questioned how safe is her husband is at home, especially on the stairs. His wife is considering putting the bed downstairs, if he agrees, but he currently says No. He is being included with all the decisions so far. He knows there is an issue with the stairs. Janet said the wife may have to say: if you want to stay here this is what we are going to do. It’s in her best interest. 

A mum has been napping pretty regularly in the afternoons and when she wakes she thinks her daughter is her mum. Now it’s her dad as well. The daughter is getting better at handling it. She is keeping mum busy watering the seeds up and down the path that are not really there. She is planting bedding plants when mum is not looking. Our member has had a lot going on with her mother in law, caring for the last 5 weeks. She feels like she’s running on empty.

Care packages

Another carer asked about changing care packages. They would like to use a private agency, but are concerned about changing, to part private and being able to return to social services at any time. Tatiana recommended  speaking to Social Services about options. Direct payments will give opportunities to look for different agencies. You may read about ‘Personal Budgets’ here.

Making decisions

A popular member of our Friendship Group has had a medical procedure. She will need further treatment but, the moment, she doesn’t want it. She will have a consultation to explain it all to her. Janet asked what the reason not to have the treatment – her brother said she has been watching too much on-line and she has a massive distrust of people in authority. Janet suggested she talked to the specialist nurse and raise her concerns.

Having a break

A carer has been able to have a few days in Wales and will be going to visit his 98 year old mum in Cornwall.

Tidiness

A step-father is alright. He can be rational and irrational about things. He took himself to have a procedure on his eye. He said his eyes have improved. He has been taking things into the garden constantly to keep his step-daughter from telling him off for being untidy. So now she’s not going to tell him when she’s going round.

A mum is still decluttering, but actually making things worse – she can’t find things!

Support

Another carer spoke about a friend’s mother who needs support.  But won’t accept  and is managing everything herself. Reading and joining the discussions on the Alzheimer’s Society’s “Talking Point” can be a helpful step in managing your expectations and realising the stress that builds when you are in a caring role.

The MIND cafe is open Thursday 10.00 – 12.00 the first Thursday in the month. Read more here.

There is a Songhaven concert on Sunday May 15th  at All Saints Church Woolwich. Full information here.

Next meeting 13th June 2022.

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