Carers Group: 8/8/22

Becoming withdrawn

A carer told the group it’s hard to get her step father to talk. He’s a bit more withdrawn than he used to be. He gets confused from time to time. His son is involved and visits him at least once a week. The dad wants to take his son to Paris, but the step daughter doesn’t know how much enthusiasm he has for this. She thinks his son should be doing more. She feels when she suggests things she is treading a fine line.


A husband says his wife is fairly active at this time of day [8pm]. Last month at the end of a meeting he found her laying on the floor. She had fallen. She doesn’t fall with a bang, so it’s difficult to know when she misses the chair if he’s not actually with her. She falls 2 to 3 times a week. When he went to visit his mum in Cornwall the carers struggled to get her up the stairs. Its  difficult when he goes away. He is thinking about a space for a bed downstairs – eventually. He is thinking about a chair lift, but it would be difficult to get His wife in it. They still go for walks in the afternoon. The house is familiar and keeps her settled and calm. Janet suggests he needs his respite.

Additional illness

A person being cared for by her brother and his wife have found that she is tired from a lot of hospital visits. This said, her treatment has gone well, though she complains of aches and pains. Her two carers made sure she was ready for her last treatment despite her saying she wasn’t going. She is now free of her illness, but she tells people she is still ill. She has to be reminded that she’s ok. 

She has been to the memory clinic and was told she needed to be put on antipsychotic drugs. Janet advised looking up antipsychotic drugs and the associated issues, due to the potential risks. Tatiana recommended discussing more with the Doctor and ask why they recommend it and suggested it should a small dosage to start with. Also, if the carers agree to this route they should insist on regular reviews.

A daughter told the group her dad was sectioned at the end. She was concerned when he was on antipsychotic drugs. He changed dramatically in a week, but the drugs did have the desired effect. It was such a shock. She recommended exploring everything first. Janet said the use of antipsychotic drugs in care homes went up 50% during lockdown.

The daughter suggested anti anxiety meds maybe a better route and to find out what happens if she should stop taking the meds or not take them regularly. Janet said information about antipsychotic drugs is on the government website and the Mind website.

Becoming anxious

A daughter said her mum is gradually declining and getting anxious. She has spoken to the carers agency about the meds box. Mum forgets to get dinners out and sometimes cooks 3 dinners. She peels loads of potatoes, carrots etc but it keeps her busy. Tomorrow she is having a bowel check and The daughter is concerned about the colour of her mum’s legs, which is getting worse. Mum says someone is stealing her underwear, although she has plenty. Mum has called the police saying she’s been burgled – someone had taken her knickers. The daughter now keeps some at her house so she can take them round when mum can’t find any. The police station now have mum’s details and occasionally pop in to see if she’s ok.

Further information and good reads:

  • Janet – read from the website Forward with Dementia which is “a guide to living with dementia”.
  • The Alzheimer’s Society’s Dementia Together magazine has interesting and informative articles.
  • My life TV offers a mix of programmes. You need to subscribe at £3.99 a month.
  • The Power of Smell is worth exploring as this care site explains.
  • The Recovery Magazine latest edition is here.

and the ever popular blog:

Next meeting 12th September 2022.

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