Janet’s information piece
Christmas Tips for carers are here.
Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Together Magazine:
Jelly Drops the sweets that boost hydration, now come with vitamins B6, B9 and B12.
People living with dementia have created another guide in a series aiming to help make life easier for others after a diagnosis. “Knowledge is Power England” addresses myths and shares advice on a range of issues, from benefits and travel to planning for the future. Find out more here.
Member updates
Caring at a distance
A brother, who lives abroad, has good days and bad day. The sister can’t always follow what he’s saying. Janet suggested trying to analyse what pops out of their memory and which decade he is “living in”, this will enable her to focus their conversations on this period. Janet asked if his care home keep her updated. The sister receives feed back through a friend who visits her brother. Tatiana suggested asking for the care home manager’s details and asking them for monthly updates (by email, zoom etc). The sister should find out what is the process to review the care plan and how often it is reviewed. Then she can ask if they can do it on line and/or could her friend attend?
Stairs
A wife can’t work out how to come down the stairs. She has had this issue before. The husband is hoping it will be temporary (it could be due to a UTI). He can just manage her down the stairs. At some stage he will have to look at options for the future – like a stair lift. As long as his wife is safe he wants her to be at home.
A great care home
A mum is ok – her care home is great. Mum is now high risk at night, so has a tracker in her room. She is just about remembering her daughter. The money for self funding for the care home is running out. Tatiana advised contacting Social Service now. They will look into the situation, but she should keep emailing them and keep on top of any progress. The daughter wanted to take her mum out at Christmas, but the home was reluctant. Janet said the care home is her home where she is living. She should be able to come and go as appropriate. The daughter should have a discussion with the home, listen to their concerns and come to a balanced decision.
Isolation
A husband explained his elderly wife has had symptoms of dementia for 5 years. It started with driving through red traffic lights. She also fell down the stairs which led to complications. They do not go out much and feel isolated They both suffer from social anxiety. She now can’t have a conversation. Her words get all jumbled up. He has to read what her thoughts are. The social side is really hard for them. They prefer being at home. They are going away for Christmas with their daughter as they can’t face being at home. Their friends are falling away since his wife’s diagnosis. His wife knows something is wrong.
Another carer suggested contacting the Time to Talk team. Janet said being able to talk to someone who doesn’t know you and where you won’t be judged will help you to find your way through. Other suggestions included:
- visiting a dementia inclusive cafe Greenwich – several have be accredited by Dementia Inclusive Greenwich.
- Revitalise run breaks for carers and people with dementia at specific times of the year.
- Volcare Greenwich can provide free carer support for respite from a few hours to a day.
- Miss Mardle Companions have been used by other Reflections members to provide respite.
- Tatiana recommended asking the GP for a Talking Therapy referral. Time to Talk can be done via self referral here.
- Greenwich Carers Centre can provide ongoing support for carers. There is a representative at every Friendship Group session.
- Charlton Athletic Football Club run a weekly social group on Wednesday mornings from 10am to 12pm as part of their Community Hub called Extra Time.
Lack of Support from family
A daughter told the group her mum is not too bad, but the daughter has no support and she is so tired. Her mum has her up 2 or 3 times in the night. Her mum wants to “go home” and is at her side all the time. She feels let down by her sister and feels angry about the rest of the family. They have no idea what she has to do.
Janet suggested sitting with her sister and explaining how she feels. Sit her down and ask her so that you can get closure. You can explain I know this is what I elected to do but I would appreciate it if you are able to offer some support to me. Ask : What are you able to help me with? If you are not prepared to help me then please say rather than give me a false promise. If the sister can’t/won’t do anything you can then draw a line under it and make alternative plans. Look at what you can control. Decide, do you want a good relationship with your sister? For your own mental health try Time to Talk – you are not judged and you can ask for a different councillor if you don’t feel one is right for you.
The next meeting will be on Monday 8th January 2024.
Reflections 