Carers Group: 8/1/24

Member updates

Resilience courses

A group member said she is interested in more Resilience courses as she really got a lot from the last one we hosted last year from Time to Talk and found it really useful.

Multiple illnesses

A brother told the group that his sister has advanced cancer, which has spread. He and his wife wanted her to enjoy the life she had left especially as her dementia is progressing. However, she was subsequently persuaded to have chemotherapy by another sister. As a result, he has passed the caring responsibility to the sister. His sister with dementia is already not regularly taking her dementia medication and he doesn’t think the sister taking on caring duties really understands dementia.  Janet said she hopes his carer sister is keeping a record of how the chemotherapy is affecting his sister as this will be discussed at reviews for adjusting the chemo doses if necessary. Maybe contact the dementia nurse at the hospital to see if they can offer any support. Janet asked about Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) for health – no one has this.

Falling

A wife had a nasty fall last week. She fell in the hall and hurt her nose, she is bruised. She’s not in a good place at the moment. He is investigating stair lifts. His wife is very tactile, she likes to touch the floor and that’s probably how she fell. She’s breathing ok. Her main activity seems to be spending time in the hall. All very odd! 

Care Home success

A daughter said things are all pretty good at the moment. They tried to reduce her mum’s meds, but it didn’t work. It was put back up again.  They enjoyed Christmas at the care home. They all got a present. It was lovely and they had a nice time. There was a New Years Eve party too. Her mum is ok and gets involved in some of the activities, so it’s all worked out well. The financial revue has not been not done yet. Tatiana suggested that the daughter could email them again as there has been a holiday / lack of resources / priorities and as long as you’ve contacted them they will get in touch. It is important to have something in writing to evidence you have made contact. Janet recommended speaking to the care home manager about it. All her family have recently completed LPA’s. 

Tatiana said that Independent Age, a charity for older people has information on funding care. Their guides can be found here (the one titled “Paying care home fees in England and Wales” was recommended for this carer’s needs). They also have a Helpline.

Another daughter took her mum to the Brands Hatch hotel to see old friends of her husband. Her mum had a great time, she knew all the people and they made a great fuss of her. Christmas Day was also good with Mum visiting the daughter’s home for the day. Sometimes the daughter questions if she has done the right thing putting her mum in a care home – but she knows she has. The home is brilliant – it’s the making of the decision that’s hard. 

The next meeting will be on Monday 5th February 2024.