Tag: Reflections

Member updates

Another good care home

A mum has been in a home for 3 months now. She has been given a drug to stop hallucinations, wandering etc. There is Covid in the home. Visits are allowed but they have to wear masks again. Mum is good in herself. She has been on days out (Brighton, Greenwich Park) and is having manicures). Mum is eating and drinking ok and has put on weight. She is being encouraged to walk with her frame. Her daughter is feeling much better. She visits mum 2/3 times a week and has been on holiday too.

The Safeguarding Team came to see mum to do a DOLS ( Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding) assessment. Tatiana explained about safeguarding and what the assessment meant. The assessment went well with her Mum telling the assessor she liked it in the home. The NICE safeguarding guidance is here.

Care home Covid guidance

Janet advised group members to look at Current Covid guidelines for care homes. The guidance states: “… there should not be any restrictions on visits out for individuals who are not symptomatic or who have not tested positive in any circumstance.” See more here.

Contentment

A husband said his wife is physically ok and quite content. She does have phases of agitation. She was experiencing difficulty going upstairs, but seems to have come through that and now it’s coming down that is more of a challenge. In the last 8 months there has been a gradual decline. Donna, the Advanced Dementia Nurse, came once. She did say she would return but has yet to do so. The husband felt it hadn’t been necessary to see her and said he would contact her if he felt he needed to. He has a live in carer when he goes on holiday and someone from Volcare on Fridays so he gets a regular break. He said they have had a few volunteers from them over the years and they have all been good.

Weight loss

A wife has put her husband on a special milkshake 3 times a day as he has lost 10 percent of his body weight. She has decisions to make regarding his future care. She doesn’t want to put him in a nursing home though feels he may need to go into a hospice due to his other health issues. Tatiana recommended asking for the criteria and eligibility for a hospice and medical professional advice. She also suggested the wife should look at nursing home options and go and visit them. Janet recommended contacting Donna Godfrey, the Advanced dementia Nurse Start for advice and start investigating now – ask questions and options and what she would like to do.

The wife has concerns about her husband falling out of bed. Another member suggested a bolster. He will send a link for the one he got from Amazon. Tatiana suggested she should also contact social services, as they could make recommendations. 

The next meeting will be on 16th October 2023.

Member updates

A brilliant care home

Our first speaker has had a good few weeks. The mum’s care home is brilliant. Mum has joined a little group playing cards in the mornings. A nurse comes to see to her and she has put on a little weight. The daughter has also had a reply from Queen Elizabeth hospital’s head of nursing admitting that they didn’t do very well. She believes that QE contributed to her mum not going home and she is contemplating her next steps. Her mum is in good spirits. The daughter’s heart is warmed by the care that the staff give her mum. She hasn’t taken her out of the home yet. Mum is now walking with a frame. One thing the daughter was especially touched by was a personal note they had written to her Mum, which her daughter had found in her Mum’s hand bag. The note told her not to worry and that she was loved. No one at the group meeting had ever heard of anything like this before.

Language problems

Another carer spoke of her brother. He is up and down and down at the moment. When she calls him for a chat. He can’t recall the words he wants to use and feels he’s not in control of his life. He has a history of depression. She said it’s very hard as he’s used to being active. He was always strict about how things are done. His language is better when they talk about memories. He spends a lot of time in his room and tires quickly. The care home said they were engaging him in activities. Janet asked if are they engaging him in outdoor activities. The sister reported they were but a volunteer told her brother he was doing things wrong so he decided not to join in anymore. Janet suggested feedback be given to the home as maybe the volunteer was not aware they should not correct someone unless it was an issue of safety.

Sisters

A sister has had lots of physical tests and is waiting for the results. She had a PET scan of her throat and stomach. Cancer cells were found. The brother finds managing things very tiring. His other sister is here on a visit. This is adding to the stress as she is contradicting him. She went with them to the Memory Clinic and he was embarrassed because she was challenging what they were saying. A carer comes every evening to make sure the sister has eaten and taken her meds. The brother is sorting out Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA). He feels his sister is different and very quiet – the meds seemed to have calmed her down. His sister with dementia is having a 2nd surgery tomorrow. He and his wife will be supporting her.It is all very stressful.

Urgent problems

A daughter said life is hectic. Her dad has gone downhill. He’s not allowing her mum to rest in the day. They can’t cope any more. Donna, the Advanced Dementia Nurse, put in a referral and they have a new social worker. They are awaiting the outcome of the review and waiting for a placement in a home as they now feel he needs to be in a care home. Evening and night time is a problem and dad is getting nasty and violent with them. He is baring his teeth at them. They can’t even go out for long as dad won’t settle. He keeps going upstairs and he’s dodgy on his legs. He misjudges how to get up off a chair and also bumps into door frames. He is restless and doesn’t recognise his home anymore. He is going back to his childhood. This has become more frequent in the last few weeks. Her mum’s health isn’t brilliant. She puts off making decisions about her husband. The dad can pick up a cup and drink and eat ok. Vertigo and balance are not good and he says he wants to die if he can’t get his own way. Her mum has tremors and can’t carry anything. She and her brother have been supporting their Mum but it has become too much lately, they both work and it is affecting their ability to do their jobs. Tatiana and Janet said that as things had rapidly changed they should find emergency respite now, with a view to permanent placement. They need to write down all the things that have got worse, say they cannot deal with this and say he needs to be found a care home placement asap.

The next meeting will be on 4th September.

Member updates

Settled in a care home

A carer said her mum is now more settled in her care home. She is less anxious and has made friends. The daughter has been advised she can start to take her mum, but she is reluctant in case she has a problem getting her back. They have been out in the garden and the home also has a dog. They deal with the residents in a really professional way. Mum has been there since the beginning of May.

Janet suggested a short outing maybe with a member of staff to support them. Tatiana said it’s common for care homes to advise residents stay in initially and agreed that a member of staff to come with them when they go out would be a good idea. The daughter has meetings about her mum’s previous care home and the Queen Elizabeth hospital regarding issues while her mum was there. Tatiana explained internal systems for recording information when you go into hospital. Janet said it was good that her GP saw her mum just before she went into hospital as they would have been aware of her mum’s condition at that time.

Mounting problems

The sister of a carer has had a biopsy and they found early stage cancer. They have to go up to Guy’s hospital on Thursday. The sister has help with her Doset box  in the evenings. She forgot to take her tablets Monday and took two lots together – nothing happened fortunately. She wants her brother to change her phone as she can’t operate it. She doesn’t want one made by a male! The brother thinks she isn’t sleeping and they may have to arrange more care. Janet said a fitness tracker might help, as they can track sleep data via an app. The sister forgets that she’s eaten – some days it’s ok and some it’s not.

New

A new group member said her dad is 83 with dementia and mum 80 with mobility issues and diabetes. They live with her brother and they both care for them. They have carers in the morning, lunch time and evening. As well as their full-time jobs they care for the parents at the weekends. Dad’s needs are increasing. His short term memory is very bad. Finding support everyday is difficult. They were fortunate to arrange emergency respite care for her dad but need more in September. Another carers recommended booking early rather than later.  Janet asked if she had contacted the Carers Centre. Donna, the dementia nurse, is supporting them. Tatiana – suggested trying to organise the September respite in the middle of July.

A good care home

A carer said she is now is in a good place. Her mum has been in a care home for 7 weeks and is really happy. She’s eating, drinking, joining the choir and watching the activities. Yesterday the daughter took her back to her home for tea and cakes and her mum was quite happy to go back to the home for her tea. The residents are going on a day trip to Brighton The daughter was really worried about mum going into the home and it was a hard decision to make, but her mum had to be safe. It’s all worked out well and she feels she’s in a really good place at the moment. The daughter has been away for a holiday too.

Seeking out a care home

A wife had made no progress finding her husband the right care home. They don’t qualify for any help. They have been to look at another care home and the husband spent the day there. He doesn’t understand why he can’t go back to his home and he doesn’t want to be in a care home.

Tatiana asked if she had spoken to Social Services? Even self funding entitles you to have assessment for the needs of the person with dementia. She recommended giving it another try. It’s their duty of care and legal responsibility to find the best type of placement. Professionals can assess the needs and help with decision making. Kirsty (Older Peoples’ Commissioning Manager for Royal Greenwich) says Social Services were not experiencing backlogs.

Fragility

A daughter said her dad is more unsteady on his feet and stumbles. He can be very active or asleep. Janet asked if he being monitored. The daughter said the frailty team are monitoring him. He has carers come to bath him He will refuse sometimes according to his mood. Due to symptoms described by the carer Janet said it is possible he may have Parkinson’s. She suggested the family investigate further. Parkinson’s UK list early signs of Parkinson’s.

Next meeting will be on 14th August.

Member updates

Moving into a care home

A carer’s mum is now in Riverlee Care Home. She is setting in and doing well. They had a lovely social worker assigned to them and it was decided, due to mobility issues, mum would need nursing care. Another carer had given her a list of homes covering Bromley, Bexley and Greenwich. The first carer said it’s a case of “do it yourself really”.

Meltdown after 1 hour

A daughter carer is feeling more positive now the family are connected to social services. Prior to that they had a Mothers Day outing incident which had shaken everyone up. The daughter decided that she needed to avoid situations which escalated a pattern of behaviour. The family decided, once her mum had given consent, to contact social services. Now carers come in 3 times a week to help with bathing. “It lifts a weight off your shoulders and you feel you’re not alone”. Tatiana recommended asking social services for a befriending service. Janet suggested contacting Volcare Greenwich for their carers support volunteers (a free service) 020 8302 0198 for care in your own home. Another carer said she uses this service and highly recommended it. Miss Mardles companions were also recommended.

Learning opportunities

BLG Mind provide a selection of services, including a course for carers. Janet suggested interested carers put their name on the course waiting list (call 020 3198 2222). You can find out more here.

Moving into another care home

A wife said she couldn’t keep her husband safe at home. While he doesn’t make a fuss, he was unhappy in the care home where he was having a trial stay. She spoke with the home about his needs and they said he needs nursing care because of his mobility and she would need to find somewhere else for him. At the present she is funding his care. Janet said how difficult it is making life changing decisions. A carer said it’s very stressful making decisions, but it was for her mum’s safety she needed to move into a home. Now they have more quality time together.

Tatiana said the husband is entitled to an assessment from social services to assess what type of home would best support his needs. If someone didn’t want social services to assess, they can go and look themselves and the home would need to assess his needs. The wife worries about her husband’s mobility when he is in care. Tatiana recommended expressing the need for his mobility to be considered as part of the assessment. He should have a care plan that documents his needs and she, as his wife, should be consulted. It will be his home so it’s important to express all concerns and they should work with you.

Increasing issues

A carer’s sister is having her appendix out tomorrow. She’s been having some pain and he felt she has been “making a bit of a nuisance of herself”. She has been referred back to the Memory Clinic. Her brain scan hasn’t happened yet. She now has someone to give her meds at night. The brother is taking all of this hard. Tomorrow the op and after that what?  Sometimes she is bright as a button and other times depressed and quiet. Janet said Admiral Nurses will be working in the borough, but have not started yet, so she will let him have the national number for Admiral nurses (details here)

The next meeting will be on 10th July.