The chill was on – freezing cold, the snow everywhere. We were all warm in our Zoom windows.
Janet started the session with a reminder that, from this weekend, we will begin the Chinese The Year of the Ox.
Next was our picture “Show and Tell” interlude. We had photos of – Pearl’s knitted hat and an amaryllis – Peter and Janet’s 100 piece old fashioned shop puzzle – and J’s – snowy back garden, her beautiful orchids and Beware of Joe garden ornament.
We started our discussion on the theme of the week by chatting about how we survived childhood illnesses.
Additional illnesses included: A’s rickets, he was in hospital for 5 years and didn’t speak till he was 6 or 7 – G had problems with her kidneys – C got head butted and knocked unconscious by a ram – D had his tonsils out.
We also had some additional remedies: R’s gran told him to put pepper on all his food and said he wouldn’t get a cold – P alcohol to quieten him down when he was a baby – M cod liver oil, boiled milk with onions & pepper – D orange juice from the clinic with a spoonful of cod liver oil in it – N an egg up with a squeeze of lemon and honey.
Hospital stays seem to have changed a lot, as has child safety: D was playing with his elder brother, near the Sidcup bypass, when his brother fell on broken glass and had to go to hospital. D, age 4 or 5, was left behind. He managed to find his way home and was minded by a neighbour. The police were out searching for him for a long time before he was found with the neighbour.
Nikki couldn’t find any red clothes, but her red tea was in tune with the Valentine’s colour theme.
Lynne took us through a Valentine’s quiz. Try these questions… In which city did Romeo and Juliet meet? and Why do some people tie cans onto the back of wedding cars?
Gyda’s had the crafters making hearts from strips of paper. Several members had completed their Bunch of flowers homework from last week.
The requested tune for the week was “One day at a time” We then sang and danced to: “A spoon full of sugar” and “When you’re in love with a beautiful woman”.
Stay home, Protect the NHS, Save lives, don’t book a holiday.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
The snow was deep and crisp and icy. Fortunately, we were on Zoom. We were able to have a full meeting, in the warmth of our own homes.
Teepa Snow: the GEMS model
Peter revisited this model. Teepa Snow’s fascinating video introduction to the model is here.
To quote the web site: “The only constant with dementia, or brains in general, is that they are ever-changing. All humans experience brain change every day. This GEMS Model, developed by Teepa Snow and based on the Allen Cognitive Scale, recognizes the shifts in our skills and abilities in any given moment. With dementia, while the progression, pattern, and changes may look very different for each type of dementia, the movement through the GEMS is somewhat predictable. Your understanding of the remaining abilities at each step of this journey can make a world of difference.” – “Just like gems, each person is precious, valuable, and unique, and given the right setting and care, can shine.” – Teepa Snow
Covid vaccine
We were told that vaccinations were progressing well. One issue raised was about where someone has had an allergic reaction to vaccinations in the past. The questions asked before someone has the covid jab include ones about reactions and anaphylactic shock. The guidance is very clear that anyone who is vulnerable should raise the potential issue and only be vaccinated in a hospital.
Some vaccination centres are ahead of others. Guys hospital, for example, is able to vaccinate carers (the call handlers vet those claiming to be carers). Having had rather a lot of visits to Guys recently, I recommend their efficient and very clean centres.
Guys is where I had my jab. For me it was quick, painless and came with a cup of coffee and a biscuit. Thank you NHS.
Scam phone calls
Sadly a carer reported her mum had been receiving lots of scam calls on her land-line. The callers claimed to be from a variety of organisations, including HMRC and BT. They asked for personal details. Stopping these calls is very difficult, as the callers use a variety of numbers and block tracing. The police were involved in this case. They advised the mum to hang up if she didn’t know the caller – she replied “but that would be very rude”.
The group suggested her mum get a mobile phone. This had been tried and she had mislaid three of them!
Easy use Telephones
The group liked the idea of phones with big keys, showing photos of the people who had been pre-programmed into the phone,
Here is an example [we have not tested this model – it is included just for information].
Keep warm
Another story was about a mum turning the heating down, she didn’t want a big bill. There had been several discussions about the need to keep warm, particularly as the mum doesn’t move about very much. This hadn’t been as successful as hoped for. The mum, somewhat frustrated with the radiator controls, had smashed them with a broom handle.
Janet suggested putting notes around the house reminding mum, and any visitors, not to turn the heating off.
The mum and daughter came to our Friendship group the following day. Janet asked the mum, in passing, if she was warm enough. She said “yes” and that she would never turn the heating off and be cold…
Melting away
Being isolated in a care home is having negative effects on those staying there. A carer said her mum’s home had not had any covid cases and they wanted to keep it that way. This was good news from a physical health perspective, but was having a big impact on mental health. The carer felt her mum was melting away. The lack of in-person contact is leading to difficulties in communicating by phone, as mum is unsure about who she is talking to and is easily distracted.
Emotional rollercoaster
A carer, who has been at home with his wife for many months, said that she doesn’t recognise him and her emotions were in turmoil. She had lost her language. He tries a variety of methods to distract and calm her, sometimes succeeding. Like other group members the strain is clear when he speaks, but he puts a brave face on and is as positive as possible.
Dementia and learning difficulties
People often don’t just have one issue to deal with. In this case, the challenges of being in a care home continue to cause the person, her carer, and the home problems and stress. Here is another home that has no cases of covid and is very protective of its people – especially as it is in an area of very high infection rates. The person wants to see her carer, wants to go home and can not understand what is happening to her. Her frustration means she is considered a “disruptive” person.
Carer mental well-being
How would you cope if you were looking after three old ladies each with different ailments and a son? What if, in addition, your husband and father had died in the recent past. And then covid and lockdown arrives? How much counselling and support would be needed?
Charcoal
Some people with dementia develop their own ideas on health remedies, often based on memories from the past. A carer mentioned again that his sister had decided that charcoal would help fend off covid. The group seem to think it odd that anyone would want to take charcoal. A quick look at Amazon shows that charcoal is a popular remedy (but not for covid), see here.
On a positive note, the sister has a covid jab booked.
Let’s see some real people!
Our final story was from a carer who’s dad was doing well. He often spoke to family and friends on the telephone. This went well, but then he was keen to go and meet them. He had difficulty in understanding why he couldn’t.
Postscript
We were ready to say goodbye, when the subject of disappearing pens came up. Two carers said that pens had found their ways into mysterious areas of trousers or leggings. How they got there and how to get them out had been proving a challenge.
Janet asked the group who had had the vaccine for covid. The majority either had, or were booked-in. Such good news.
We discussed first jobs back in October 2020. This time we discussed first wages. Most members could recall their wages (see below) – Janet and I had no recollection : (
We all seem to have started out in tough times, with low wages. I was very impressed with L (Lynne – our master of quizzes) – who managed to go out on 4 nights every week.
We had another shed story this week, or rather a history of a shed over 40 years !
In the last couple of months our group friends, who have moved to the West Country, have been tinkering with their easily manageable front garden. Here is the work in progress.
Our contribution to “Show and tell” was our recent conversion to being dissectologists. Janet talked through the 7 Surprising Benefits of Doing Jigsaw Puzzles for All Ages – you can read more here.
Lyne had a 1980’s pop tune quiz:
Lynne has been very good recently in giving us quizzes that even I have a chance of getting some of the answers right. For example “Which was the only British pop group to with the Eurovision Song Contest in the 80s?”.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
As we expected, our members have been busy during the pandemic and even during the special restriction of the various lockdowns. Everyone had got to grips with Zoom. One couple had arranged international weekly quizzes. Pearl had been baking for neighbours – and knitting in every spare moment (including during our Zoom meetings)
Fresh air and exercise are popular. One member volunteers to organise Zoom fitness sessions. Janet encouraged people to do resistance training to retain and/or improve muscle strength and bone density.
We didn’t have a category for putting up sheds, but two of our members had done just that – and provided photographic evidence as part of our Tell and Show session. One of the shed men also found time to make Sloe Gin. Other activity in the last week included a Burns Night Supper, complete with haggis and all the trimmings. Janet asked “What’s in a haggis” – probably not a good question.
We were on the verge of singing Happy Birthday, but saved it until the end. Singing on Zoom is tricky, especially with slight time delays. I had wondered what “cacophony” meant – now I know.
Lynne had a Catch-phrase quiz. Here are a couple of testers – who said “Hello my darling” and who said “Mr Grimsdale, Mr Grimsdale“. We all did well, one person (our haggis enthusiast) got 15/15!
Stay home, Protect the NHS, Save lives, have a vaccination (I have).
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
We are a group of music lovers with eclectic tastes. Fortunately, we are happy to hear each other’s views on music – even if someone admits to not liking The Wizard of Oz!
Zoom is wonderful for those who can’t get out and about – such as people classed as “clinically extremely vulnerable” (like me) and “struck down with covid” (one of our Davids). David is improving a lot – but over-did it a bit today, so went for a lay down after saying hello.
Good news from many of our members who have had the vaccine. Some had minor side effects, but people are feeling much more positive.
Back to business. We asked about favourite film and show tunes:
Among “Others” were songs from Mama Mia, The Rose and GuThe King and I.
I showed pictures what the brain looks like before and after activity. It highlighted the mental health benefits of going outside (gardening, walking etc). So… the homework for this week is: to take pictures of when you are out and about to show where you are and what you are doing – email to me and we will have some examples next week.
Stay home, Protect the NHS, Save lives, have a vaccination.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Pearl got us singing and dancing to “If I had a hammer” and “Right Said Fred”.
As we claimed we wanted to do more exercise – Gyda had us doing Chi Ball again.
David’s paintings
David has been using off-cuts from Gyda’s craft sessions to produce collages – then using them as a basis for paintings. A example is above on the right. We look forward to an art show from David when we eventually return to Shrewsbury House.
Next time – favourite songs from movies. My vote is for the king of rock and roll singing “The Young Ones” in the film of the same name.
Stay home, Protect the NHS, Save lives, Refresh & revitalise.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
The group were back for the first meeting of the new year.
Coping strategies for feelings of being overwhelmed
Peter spoke about the issue that affects many of us at the moment. A summary of the talk is here and a one page help-sheet here.
Dementia research
Janet talked through the possibly avoidable factors contributing to developing dementia.
Vaccinations
A very popular topic. Several members of the group had taken their loved one for their first jab. Local surgeries and the Princess Royal hospital had provided a very safe and efficient service. Picking a quiet time was recommended.
Covid
Two members had contracted the virus. One had thought it was just a cold but, at Janet’s prompting, they had gone for a test – and came back positive. The other’s husband had gone into hospital, caught it, come out and given it to her. Both were able to pop along to the group for a short while – another success for Zooming. We wish thenm a speedy recovery.
Missing? Presumed dead?
Two very unfortunate stories.
One person had been in and out of hospital. On trying to trace them in hospital, their wife had to wait 48 hours before she was able to make contact. Other patients in the ward were eventually able to make calls to the carer – the hospital staff less successful.
Another carer was confused when she tried to get her mum’s prescription. Mum had been recently discharged from hospital. The hospital didn’t tell her GP that she had been discharged, they said she was dead! The pharmacist was, understandably, reluctant to issue a prescription for a dead person. The carer said “But I only spoke to her 10 minutes ago – she is at home!”. In the end, it was agreed she was alive [and came to our Friendship Group on the 12th January].
Visiting Care homes
More changes have come about with the latest lockdown. One carer is concerned that her relative is feeling isolated and depressed. Their home is understaffed (due to the virus) and is not providing the stimulation, activities, and other support that is needed. There has been a promise of an assessment visit from the mental health team.
Another carer was told she can visit her mum, by standing on a wooden plinth outside and speaking through a window. The home had arranged a special room for visitors, but this was not going to be used for the foreseeable future. Update: the day after this meeting the carer contacted the home, was assertive in setting out the reasons why the special room should be used – and the care home manager agreed. Success! Update2: the following day the home owner stated the home would not allow visitors to use the special room.
Location, location, location
We were told a Friendship Group regular was now reluctant to eat – in the kitchen. But, she would eat – in a favourite chair. Feeling safe, comfortable and relaxed made all the difference.
90 minute turn-around
Christmas had gone really well for a carer and her mum. In the evening the carer returned to her home, then 90 minutes later she had a call from her mum’s neighbour. Mum had come round asking questions in a confused state. The carer went back and found her mum’s mental state had radically changed. Just a temporary blip. Since then, mum has continued to be rather good at cooking vegetables, but forgets the meat and potatoes.
It was good to see the group members and hear how they were managing, even it these difficult times.
We were very pleased to hear that several member have vaccination appointments lined-up for the near future.
Stay home, Protect the NHS, Save lives.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Christmas is getting closer and presents are on our mind.
We dressed-up for the festivities..
The group told us they preferred personal presents, who doesn’t. But beware, tokens may be a good option, but they are not that popular.
I missed Judith introducing her friend, but Janet took a photo.
Here are a few of the presents group members received when they were young (you might spot Judith’s)…
<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>
At last, the moment we had all been waiting for (oh no we hadn’t – oh yes we had!).
The Reflections Christmas Panto
Cinderella part 1
Waltz interlude
Cinderella part 2
Everyone joined-in with the panto, either as characters or the appreciative audience. There were too many stars to mention – thank you to everyone who participated, without any rehearsal. The costumes and make-up were excellent.
That’s it for the 2020 group. We are back on 5th January 2021.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Our last Carers Group of 2020. It has been a very difficult year for many reasons. We were pleased that this evening’s group had many positive comments and stories.
Janet’s report from the Greenwich Dementia Action Group (DAG)
The group had a very interesting insight into what the council have been doing to support and protect those in care homes. This information was correct at the time of the meeting, but subject to change afterwards.
Homes had allocated “staff wellbeing rooms” to allow staff (who are on 12 hour shifts) to have a space to take a beak from the stress of their work.
The council had made a commitment that no-one with a positive covid test would be discharged from hospital into a care home. Those waiting discharge would have a test 24 hours before leaving the hospital. If they were positive, then they would be placed in the Eltham Community Hospital, or remain in hospital, until they were clear.
Decisions on having visitors in care homes must be agreed by the local Director of Public Health, after appropriate safeguards have been put in place.
Visitors to care homes will need to be tested 24 hours before their visit. On arrival, they will need to change their clothes and wear a mask. They will be allowed to hug their relative, but not kiss them.
“Lateral-flow” 30 minus tests will be rolled-out, following a pilot. This test is very staff-time-intensive.
Visits will take place in bedrooms or visitor areas.
The vaccine is being rolled-out to residents and staff from 3 local hospitals: Kings, Guys and the Princess Royal. At the time of the meeting the vaccine was being distributed in packs of 975, which could not be split and needed to be used within 3 days.
Once vaccinated the usual hands/face/space rules still apply.
Testing for the virus will be once each week. If there is an outbreak, then an action meeting will be held within 24 hours.
Care home inspections have ben suspended for the time being.
Staff should not now work across multiple sites or multiple locations within one home.
Visiting care homes (carers’ experiences)
The arrangements are changing regularly, as the government policy twists, u-turns, and is re-interpreted.
One carer told us she had been told the Christmas arrangements at her mum’s care home would involve: A quick virus test (the 20 minute Lateral Flow Test), clean cloths, masks etc, chaperoning by staff = a 15 minute visit.
Another carer said her relative’s home would be ready for visits soon, using a perspex screen to divide the room. She couldn’t get an appointment until 28th December.
Reducing medication
A long standing member of our Friendship Group had benefitted from having her medication reduced, following a cautious plan. Her paranoia had resurfaced, but was forgotten after 30 seconds – an interesting trade-off.
A degree of stress
An unexpected discussion had come about for a carer when his sister became distressed about not getting a first class degree – 30 years ago. Other concerns were around mobile phones, flu jabs, virus jabs, and taking carbon as a supplement, to name a few.
Eating and drinking
A husband forgets to drink, which causes medical issues. A mum has decided she will only eat chops, which has not caused any problems. Carers need to go with the flow.
Covid vaccinations
We have one mum lined up for a vaccination on 11 January at Guy’s hospital and another at the Pru. It looks like the NHS is rapidly contacting people in the top category of those in need. Both of the mums’ carers were in a rather positive mood.
We hope the New Year brings more good news. We are back on 11th January 2021.
Reflections 