This week – our first cars – and there was a lot to choose from. Two had been missing part of their floors (!) and one had the handbrake welded into the wrong place (and therefore unusable!).
Judith shared us some interesting vehicles. Then we moved on to discus his and hers experiences with their first cars…
Gyda’s craft session was all about making a reindeer – and very springy it was too.
Lynne had more difficult quiz questions. I went for a cuppa as, this week, they were beyond me.
David was pleased to show his completed homework from Gyda’s craft sessions.
We kept chatting until it was time for tea and a break.
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The session just overran a bit, not much, this week.
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Gyda put us through our paces with another Chi-ball exercise session. Those who could’t put their hands on a ball were invited to use a toilet roll as a substitute – it worked.
Another of David’s paintings of the group – a work in progress. David has promised to bring in a selection of his paintings, when we all get back together again.
We overran, as we always do. There is just so much to try and fit in.
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Food glorious food turned out to be a very popular subject this week.
Our polls showed that the most popular Christmas snack was “Anything with chocolate” and for Christmas lunch, sprouts were more popular than turkey. We all joined in the discussion, which perked-up as soon a someone mentioned Christmas pudding made with fruit soaked in alcohol. The magic word was alcohol, which raised even more smiles than chocolate.
Gyda has started Christmas early with a simple paper decoration. As usual, group members were keen to refine their creations after the meeting.
Livia La Camera
Livia gave us a presentation on healthy eating and engaged us in a short discussion on our eating and drinking habits (we all appear to know what we should be doing). You may find out more about the GCDA and their training events here. Livia is the Greenwich Co-operative Development Agency Healthy (GCDA) Programmes Development Lead.
Lynne, the quiz hostess, baffled some of us (me) with her tricky questions. Others did well – one even managed to get 23 correct answers to 22 questions!
I managed to pop in to today’s meeting and thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Plenty to talk about, as usual. We had some thought provoking updates from our group members. There were contrasting experiences in the last month while our carers tried to do the best for those they cared for.
Dementia Carers Count training
We had some more positive feedback on a free training event with Dementia Carers Count. The charity runs a variety of events and it is worth checking out their website, or contacting them, to see if there is something suitable for you. You can find out more information about their training events here.
The same group member told us she had come through a tough period caring for her mum, but now she said she was receiving “excellent support”. She had all ends covered, with help from a speech therapist and an incontinence nurse. Her mum was now more settled.
She recommended sharing experiences and asking questions on the Alzheimer’s Society’s Dementia Talking Point. They say “Have you or someone you know been diagnosed with dementia? Join Dementia Talking Point to share experiences with other people affected by dementia“.
The Admiral Nurses had also provided advice and support. They say “When things get challenging or difficult, Admiral Nurses work alongside people with dementia, and their families: giving them one-to-one support, expert guidance and practical solutions. The unique dementia expertise and experience an Admiral Nurse brings is a lifeline – it helps families to live more positively with dementia in the present, and to face the challenges of tomorrow with more confidence and less fear.”
Visiting a care home (revisited)
Last time a carer had said her mum’s care home intended to use a ‘visiting suite’ – this is a room with a floor to ceiling perspex screen and an intercom system for speaking. The home had done just this. As a result, visitors could still come, even in lockdown. Meetings were limited to 30 minutes, whit 15 minutes of room cleaning either side of the visit. While not perfect, it did mean the daughter and husband could visit (separately). Our group member said the staff at the home also seemed to have developed a strong rapport with her mum. All encouraging work.
How long does it take to plug-in a mobile phone?
Another carer had a less positive experience with a care home. Their person has dementia and special educational needs. This person likes to call people they know on their mobile phone. Now this is they only real contact with the outside world. Unfortunately, the care home staff we ‘too busy’ to plug-in and charge the phone when it went flat. When the manager was questioned, she agreed that the staff were too busy. Anyone wishing to speak to someone in the home were advised to ring the home on the landline and they would be connected. When this was tried, the staff were ‘too busy’ to put them through. Tatiana’s advice was to talk to the funding authority to ensure they had a review of the service they were paying the home to provide.
Fresh air and exercise
One carer said she would prefer just to listen at the session (which is ok with us) but then she opened up about her husband, who has a whole variety of ailments. She said things changed from week to week. Last week was “brilliant”, this week wasn’t. They had managed to arrange a community physiotherapist. He had even managed to go to some exercise classes (he got bored and does not go now). Through the recent period, they still managed to get out and sample the fresh air and take a look at the Thames.
Should I stay or should I go?
Our only male carer this evening told us his wife “doesn’t understand how the world works anymore”. He said she was not clear about using the toilet and might think about popping-in for an hour or so, before venturing in – or not. He was hopeful when they had a visit from the incontinence nurse. She said something along the lines of “yes, people with dementia get like that”. And, that was it. He is coping.
Putting the clocks back
Most of us get a little confused when we put the clocks back. All of a sudden it seems it is dark in the middle of the afternoon. For someone with dementia, this can be even more unsettling. A group member said the change in the clocks and the darker evenings had made her dad more confused. His slightly obsessive behaviour had become worse. She said the family were coping and his change from a rather silent man to a chatty one, was an interesting development.
Staying healthy in lockdown: a BUPA GP’s top 10 tips
Peter summarised the advice from the BUPA site, which you can read here. Many of the point identified in the ‘Top tips’ had come up in this evenings discussions. The short presentation was aimed at reminding members that we all needed to not just understand the tips, but put then into practice.
We were asked to come us with our Happy Surprises and nearly all of us did.
Group members took us through their surprises, both this year and in the recent past. These ranged from the surprise arrival of a sister from Canada, to arrival of new grandchildren. We were very pleased to hear people’s plans for the immediate future. This also prompted some of the group to think what they might do.
We also discussed November 5th – bonfire night. Group members recalled having fireworks at home or going to the display on Blackheath. Nobody will be going to Blackheath for fireworks this year – as we will be in another lockdown from Thursday.
David showed us some of the very many paintings on his walls. This was a new one – he said his efforts were becoming more abstract as time went on. He plans to do a Reflections Friendship Group Zoomers painting – it should be fabulous.
Gyda’s paper craft this time was all about making our own fireworks.
One happy surprise today was the return of Danny. He needed to leave before Pearl introduced her latest batch of songs. There followed both singing and dancing – including Janet’s favourite: ‘Ring of Fire’ as sung by Tony:
Lynne was our quiz hostess. I’m sure her quizzes are getting harder. Here is one question: ‘How long did it take to conceal the gunpowder in the Parliament cellars’. Answer: ‘One Year’!
Gyda introduced us to some Chi Yoga – using a toilet roll!
I shall be taking a break from the Friendship Group sessions for a while. But, I will be popping in occasionally and keeping this blog up to date. See you soon.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
The group asked for a session about First Jobs, so that is what we chatted about today.
But, before we started on the discussions, Janet shared an optical illusion. You might like to consider this picture for a while. There was some discussion about a mysterious mushroom in the picture, or was it a dubious haircut? You can choose.
Iuliana spoke about the work that the members of the Commissioning Group is doing in the Borough. She intends to keep in touch with Reflections, and increase the information sharing and networking of groups across Greenwich
We then moved onto the group discussions. Our group said they had all started working between the ages of 14 and 18. With some probing, we found that several had been working when younger – unpaid, for their parents or as a paper-round. Once they started paid work, not all of them stuck in one job for long.
The group had a variety of jobs. Hairdressing was popular with the ladies. We found we had quite a few teachers in the group. One of those was Gyda, who had another craft for us.
Gyda’s craft was making a simple Tree on paper. You can then write in the things you are grateful for. You choose what period the tree covers – it could be one each day. After a while you may look back and might be pleasantly surprised how much you had to be grateful for. Gyda explains more here:
Your photographer took a rather urgent phone call at this point, so may have missed some of the highlights (such as round one of Pearl’s jokes). It appeared everyone managed without me for a short while.
Pearl’s jokes have become a focal point of the sessions. She seems to have an endless supply of rib tickling quips.
Gerry was “Working from home”.
Pearl insisted we sing some up-beat songs, including YMCA. We were pleased to see lots of singing and dancing.
Roxana announced she was changing jobs. This would be her last appearance with us. Roxana has been working with Reflections, both on behalf of the Alzheimer’s Society and more recently with BLG Mind. We thank here for her work and support – and for joining in the fun (even while abroad!)
The clocks are going back as winter draws on. Halloween is on its way… next time
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Today we returned to those particular tunes which have a special meaning for each of us. When we hear them they spark emotions, memories, and the urge to start singing. They are the Soundtrack to our Lives.
Music is neurologically special in the way that it stimulates many parts of the brain at once. Listening to your Playlist can have a very positive impact on you. Find out more about Playlist for Life on their website here. You may develop your own Playlist by following this simple guide.
And what better way to get into the groove, than by holding a Musical Tea?
Peter Butterworth, our Local Organiser for Playlist for Life, gave us an overview of Playlist for Life and invited us to create our own.
Peter recommended we look at the resources on the Playlist site here and specifically their 100 years of tunes. You can download individual decades for free. Putting together a Playlist is fun and playing it can help calm us in stressful times. Peter has offered to help with advice on putting a Playlist together. If you want to contact Peter, please let us know.
We had a series of polls which prompted a lot of discussion and memories of days gone bye. Old TV themes led onto old TV programmes (you can still see many of them on the ‘Talking Pictures TV‘ channel on Freeview). The people who come up with TV adverts would have been pleased that we remembered so many.
Janet’s tea & cake
Everyone was busy joining in, but some of us managed to spare time for some tea and cake, as befits a Musical Tea.
In a break from the normal quiz format, I introduced a musical picture quiz. We had some very high scores and I managed 17/17 (but then, I had set the questions).
Janet’s quiz gave us the first line of a classic song, we had to come up with the next line. We also attempted to identify the singer/group. A much more testing quiz than mine.
We look forward to the return of some more of our usual features next time – if we can fit them into the packed programme!
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We had a very good chat this evening about a wide variety of subjects and managed to avoid talking about any announcements by the Prime Minister (for most of the time).
The Alzheimer’s Society report: ‘Worst hit: dementia during coronavirus’
Peter gave a summary of the report. You can find the report (and links to background information) here on the Society’s web site. The Society states “Since coronavirus (COVID-19) lockdown on 23 March, an Alzheimer’s Society investigation has discovered family and friends have spent an extra 92 million hours caring for loved ones with dementia, due to the double whammy of lockdown making dementia symptoms worse, and the chronically underfunded social care system leaving them nowhere else to turn. “
The group recognised many of the issues highlighted. We have regularly discussed the effect of the current restrictions on the mental health of carers. While our members welcomed the Society’s recommendations there were reservations about the influence the Society might have on the government. There was also a view that people with dementia and their carers had disappeared from the government’s list of priorities.
Dementia Carers Count training
One of the group had been on a free training event with Dementia Carers Count and recommended that others have a look at what was on offer. We had previously had a good report on this training from another member of the group here. You can find out more information about Dementia Carers Count, their training events and annual conference here.
Visiting a care home
The pandemic rules are changing on a regular basis, so care homes have to change their arrangements, often at short notice. We were told about the experience with one home. It had now gone into ‘Pro Active Lockdown’. The result was that visits were restricted to one person outside the home seeing their loved one through a window and speaking via a telephone. Visitors were also not expected to travel by public transport so as to avoid the additional risks. From 16 October the home intended to use a ‘visiting suite’ – this is a room with a floor to ceiling perspex screen and an intercom system for speaking. Our group member intended to visit on the Friday, so we look forward to a report next time.
Case reviews
Sometimes care homes seemed to run without input on the care of their residents from loved ones. What should happen is regular case reviews. Tatiana advised members to be assertive with care homes to ensure that reviews were carried out, with input from all the appropriate people.
Where does it hurt?
When we have a pain, we generally have an idea of the cause. When you have dementia, making the link may be more difficult. A carer said his sister was resistant to taking her medication and reluctant to having a flu jab. She had a pain in her side which she thought might be caused/made worse by meds or jabs. The brother noticed her pulling a very heavy trolly up stairs after a shopping trip. The pain was on the same side as the straining to pull up the trolly. The brother was wary of getting into a protracted discussion about cause and effect. He also didn’t want to return to a discussion about his sister getting a new mobile phone. As he put it; “I haven’t got the fight at the moment”.
Avoiding potential problems
A carer said that she found that shop assistants often helped her by saying that an expensive item her mum wanted to buy was currently on-order or out of stock. This avoided an argument about buying something that the daughter considered unnecessary and/or too expensive. In effect the message was not a ‘No’ or ‘Yes’, but ‘Later’. As mum generally moved on and forgot about the item she had wanted, the issue was deflected.
Places to visit
The group had been taking opportunities to get out in the fresh air. Indoor places to visit were more of a problem. Janet said The Carers Centre seemed to have a very good approach to risk management. You can see more on their website, including a video tour of the premises, here. A carer said that Danson House (in Danson Park) did an impressive afternoon tea, photos and information here.
Not getting caught short
Not everyone is keen to talk about toilet troubles. We had a short discussion about incontinence products and free products on prescription – more information is on the NHS website here. Several members spoke positively about Tena products – their website is here.
Queuing to watch TV
What should you do when you want to watch TV in your living room, but the room is full of people and you have to wait for up to an hour to get a seat? If you have dementia with Lewy bodies you may well have recurrent visual hallucinations – this can include seeing people who are not there. Carers can help dispel the confusion, but left alone an individual can have considerable problems coping.
As usual, our members were mutually supportive, full of anecdotes and ideas. In difficult times it is encouraging to meet some of the people have recently “spent 92 million extra hours caring for loved ones with dementia”.
Reflections 