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The group asked for a session about First Jobs, so that is what we chatted about today.
But, before we started on the discussions, Janet shared an optical illusion. You might like to consider this picture for a while. There was some discussion about a mysterious mushroom in the picture, or was it a dubious haircut? You can choose.
Iuliana spoke about the work that the members of the Commissioning Group is doing in the Borough. She intends to keep in touch with Reflections, and increase the information sharing and networking of groups across Greenwich
We then moved onto the group discussions. Our group said they had all started working between the ages of 14 and 18. With some probing, we found that several had been working when younger – unpaid, for their parents or as a paper-round. Once they started paid work, not all of them stuck in one job for long.
The group had a variety of jobs. Hairdressing was popular with the ladies. We found we had quite a few teachers in the group. One of those was Gyda, who had another craft for us.
Gyda’s craft was making a simple Tree on paper. You can then write in the things you are grateful for. You choose what period the tree covers – it could be one each day. After a while you may look back and might be pleasantly surprised how much you had to be grateful for. Gyda explains more here:
Your photographer took a rather urgent phone call at this point, so may have missed some of the highlights (such as round one of Pearl’s jokes). It appeared everyone managed without me for a short while.
Pearl’s jokes have become a focal point of the sessions. She seems to have an endless supply of rib tickling quips.
Gerry was “Working from home”.
Pearl insisted we sing some up-beat songs, including YMCA. We were pleased to see lots of singing and dancing.
Roxana announced she was changing jobs. This would be her last appearance with us. Roxana has been working with Reflections, both on behalf of the Alzheimer’s Society and more recently with BLG Mind. We thank here for her work and support – and for joining in the fun (even while abroad!)
The clocks are going back as winter draws on. Halloween is on its way… next time
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Today we returned to those particular tunes which have a special meaning for each of us. When we hear them they spark emotions, memories, and the urge to start singing. They are the Soundtrack to our Lives.
Music is neurologically special in the way that it stimulates many parts of the brain at once. Listening to your Playlist can have a very positive impact on you. Find out more about Playlist for Life on their website here. You may develop your own Playlist by following this simple guide.
And what better way to get into the groove, than by holding a Musical Tea?
Peter Butterworth, our Local Organiser for Playlist for Life, gave us an overview of Playlist for Life and invited us to create our own.
Peter recommended we look at the resources on the Playlist site here and specifically their 100 years of tunes. You can download individual decades for free. Putting together a Playlist is fun and playing it can help calm us in stressful times. Peter has offered to help with advice on putting a Playlist together. If you want to contact Peter, please let us know.
We had a series of polls which prompted a lot of discussion and memories of days gone bye. Old TV themes led onto old TV programmes (you can still see many of them on the ‘Talking Pictures TV‘ channel on Freeview). The people who come up with TV adverts would have been pleased that we remembered so many.
Janet’s tea & cake
Everyone was busy joining in, but some of us managed to spare time for some tea and cake, as befits a Musical Tea.
In a break from the normal quiz format, I introduced a musical picture quiz. We had some very high scores and I managed 17/17 (but then, I had set the questions).
Janet’s quiz gave us the first line of a classic song, we had to come up with the next line. We also attempted to identify the singer/group. A much more testing quiz than mine.
We look forward to the return of some more of our usual features next time – if we can fit them into the packed programme!
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
We had a very good chat this evening about a wide variety of subjects and managed to avoid talking about any announcements by the Prime Minister (for most of the time).
The Alzheimer’s Society report: ‘Worst hit: dementia during coronavirus’
Peter gave a summary of the report. You can find the report (and links to background information) here on the Society’s web site. The Society states “Since coronavirus (COVID-19) lockdown on 23 March, an Alzheimer’s Society investigation has discovered family and friends have spent an extra 92 million hours caring for loved ones with dementia, due to the double whammy of lockdown making dementia symptoms worse, and the chronically underfunded social care system leaving them nowhere else to turn. “
The group recognised many of the issues highlighted. We have regularly discussed the effect of the current restrictions on the mental health of carers. While our members welcomed the Society’s recommendations there were reservations about the influence the Society might have on the government. There was also a view that people with dementia and their carers had disappeared from the government’s list of priorities.
Dementia Carers Count training
One of the group had been on a free training event with Dementia Carers Count and recommended that others have a look at what was on offer. We had previously had a good report on this training from another member of the group here. You can find out more information about Dementia Carers Count, their training events and annual conference here.
Visiting a care home
The pandemic rules are changing on a regular basis, so care homes have to change their arrangements, often at short notice. We were told about the experience with one home. It had now gone into ‘Pro Active Lockdown’. The result was that visits were restricted to one person outside the home seeing their loved one through a window and speaking via a telephone. Visitors were also not expected to travel by public transport so as to avoid the additional risks. From 16 October the home intended to use a ‘visiting suite’ – this is a room with a floor to ceiling perspex screen and an intercom system for speaking. Our group member intended to visit on the Friday, so we look forward to a report next time.
Case reviews
Sometimes care homes seemed to run without input on the care of their residents from loved ones. What should happen is regular case reviews. Tatiana advised members to be assertive with care homes to ensure that reviews were carried out, with input from all the appropriate people.
Where does it hurt?
When we have a pain, we generally have an idea of the cause. When you have dementia, making the link may be more difficult. A carer said his sister was resistant to taking her medication and reluctant to having a flu jab. She had a pain in her side which she thought might be caused/made worse by meds or jabs. The brother noticed her pulling a very heavy trolly up stairs after a shopping trip. The pain was on the same side as the straining to pull up the trolly. The brother was wary of getting into a protracted discussion about cause and effect. He also didn’t want to return to a discussion about his sister getting a new mobile phone. As he put it; “I haven’t got the fight at the moment”.
Avoiding potential problems
A carer said that she found that shop assistants often helped her by saying that an expensive item her mum wanted to buy was currently on-order or out of stock. This avoided an argument about buying something that the daughter considered unnecessary and/or too expensive. In effect the message was not a ‘No’ or ‘Yes’, but ‘Later’. As mum generally moved on and forgot about the item she had wanted, the issue was deflected.
Places to visit
The group had been taking opportunities to get out in the fresh air. Indoor places to visit were more of a problem. Janet said The Carers Centre seemed to have a very good approach to risk management. You can see more on their website, including a video tour of the premises, here. A carer said that Danson House (in Danson Park) did an impressive afternoon tea, photos and information here.
Not getting caught short
Not everyone is keen to talk about toilet troubles. We had a short discussion about incontinence products and free products on prescription – more information is on the NHS website here. Several members spoke positively about Tena products – their website is here.
Queuing to watch TV
What should you do when you want to watch TV in your living room, but the room is full of people and you have to wait for up to an hour to get a seat? If you have dementia with Lewy bodies you may well have recurrent visual hallucinations – this can include seeing people who are not there. Carers can help dispel the confusion, but left alone an individual can have considerable problems coping.
As usual, our members were mutually supportive, full of anecdotes and ideas. In difficult times it is encouraging to meet some of the people have recently “spent 92 million extra hours caring for loved ones with dementia”.
This week we were being positive about 2020 – and we found much to chat about – from the joy of exercise, saying hello to people when out and about, playing on-line games with others, gardening, walking, to Zoom meetings.
Gyda shared information about Nordic Walking. Lynne was keen to find out more and Chrissie provided more background and encouragement. We have a fit group!
Gyda’s craft this week was creating a mandala. The simple steps led us towards more intricate designs and colour. Our homework will be interesting – come back next week for the technicolour mandalas…
David told us to: “Think positive, be positive, don’t give in to gloom”:
Everyone was feeling positive, but it was joke time and Pearl was not with us. Would Janet make the grade?
Lucky Janet had a choice of jokes. Here is a short one and a longer one:
Lynne’s quiz was especially difficult, with scores mainly under 5/10. To perk us up, we sang along to “Accentuate the positive” and “Happy talk”. There was plenty of dancing and singing.
With neighbours calling, appointments etc. some group members slipped away slightly early.
For the remaining Zoomers, we still had to end before part two of Lynne’s quiz due to another overrun. Gerry thought we should go for quiz part 2, but the rest of us needed a cup of tea…
Next week is our Playlist for Life Musical Tea. You may see last year’s Reflections event here and the PfL website is here.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
We had our fingers crossed for a good session about superstitions. There was a steady stream of people joining us, with a total of “lucky 13”, plus our plucky volunteers. Touch wood no one was stressed by the tricky quiz from Janet covering myths and superstitions from around the world. There was some debate about whether a black cat was lucky or unlucky – we couldn’t agree, so we moved on.
David gave us “Myths and legends”:
Our knowledgable group pointed out that many myths originated with the Egyptians. Oddly, many people are not aware that Egypt is a country in Africa. We had a couple of superstitions from other countries. From Turkey, Gyda informed us a husband will know if his wife is unfaithful, as he will grow horns. Danny told us. in Estonia, it is unlucky to whistle in the house.
Pearl gave us three suitable songs: “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder. “Tie a yellow ribbon”, by Tony Orlando. And “Dorothy the dinosaur” especially for Dot. I think Dot was pleased.
Gerry (a man with 3 lucky horseshoes) told us about “Superstitions”
As Boris announced yet more measures to tackle the pandemic, we had a jolly time with friends on Zoom.
We chatted about events we had been to and those we would like to go to and see in the future.
There was a mix of preferences and experiences. Danny had been to many shows, but mainly to be with his girlfriend rather than to see the performance. Others had enjoyed musicals and plays such as The Mousetrap. Roxana had not been to anything of note.
Gyda continues to help us develop our construction crafts. As the architectural student, Danny might have some observations.
David showed us the florist stall he had finished as his homework. Mary was keen to follow Gyda’s guidance to produce a theatre this week.
No Pearl today, so Janet told some jokes instead. Here is a smelly one:
A hot afternoon and a good turn-out for the group. There were a lot of memories of favourite markets, some now long gone. Pettycoat Lane was popular, as was Greenwich market. We had one vote for Coventry market (from Danny, who was joining us from Coventry!).
We also talked about Christmas markets. Cologne was recommended by those that had visited it. Odd to be talking about Christmas just as the hot weather had returned
Janice made a welcome return to Reflections. It was her first time with out online group and she said how much she enjoyed it. She told us about the Carers Centre reopening and all the work that had been done to make it as safe as they could. David had visited and recommended others do the same.
Janet had come up with this memory of a market nursery rhyme: “To market, to market to buy a fat pig – Home again, home again, jiggety-jig – To market, to market, to buy a fat hog – Home again, home again, jiggety-jog – To market, to market, to buy a plum cake – Home again, home again, market is late – To market, to market, to buy a plum bun – Home again, home again, market is done – To market, to market, a gallop a trot – To buy some meat to put in the pot – Three pence a quarter, a groat a side – If it hadn’t been killed it must have died.” How many of us have a groat in our purse/wallet?
Gyda guided us through the making of a market stall from card or paper. There was a lot of enthusiastic folding and cutting. Our keen builders took away their creations to finish later.
Janet reminded us that we usually have an annual visit from the Pearly Kings and Queens. As we are on Zoom, we had to make-do with Janet’s quiz about cockney rhyming slang.
Lynne’s quiz was another good test. I got question one right, then I went a bit downhill.
This month the members were a little slow in arriving at the group. Once we got into the swing of things there was eight of us chatting away.
Places to visit
Janet gave an update on The Greenwich Carers Centre, Age Exchange and Shrewsbury House. The Carers Centre and Age Exchange had been represented at the recent Greenwich Dementia Action Group meeting and reported on their extensive work prior to their reopening. Both are using temperature “guns” to check visitors. Shrewsbury House has also completed work to make visitors as safe as they could (although they do not use a temperature checker).
Dementia Adventure: Online training session
Peter introduced the group to Dementia Adventure, a charity which aims to help people with dementia and their carers get outdoors and retain their sense of adventure. They also run on-line interactive sessions which explain dementias and their impact in an interesting and engaging way. Peter showed some of the pictures they used in their presentation.
If you want to know more about Dementia Adventure’s work click here
Their graphics illustrated the presentation. Here they explained how initially people can cope with a lot on their “noticeboard”. As their dementia progresses they can cope with fewer items. Later they may be able to process only one thing at a time.
Dementia Adventure works to maximise the benefits of nature for those with dementia and their carers.
Carers caring for themselves
From the start of this evening’s session we discussed the breaks that many of the group had arranged and the benefits of getting away and relaxing for a while. The destinations ranged from Wales to Kefalonia. Even though we tend to remain in contact with home, no matter where we are, a break can make a big difference to your state of mind.
Insights from The Alzheimer’s Show
A member told us she had rather a lot of spare time recently and had watched many of the Show’s webinars. There was much of interest – one example being the issue of inheritance tax and the possibility of changing someone’s Will up to two years after they died. You may read more about this on the McClure solicitors website’s section on ‘The Gift of Hindsight’ here.
This member also told us about a reassuring section of a presentation which said that “pacing up and down” and “wandering” were very normal for people with dementia. Our member knew this, but had been unhappy with her mum’s care home when they said that this was disruptive and that her mother might need sedation or a move to another care home that could cope with her behaviour. Fortunately, the care home manager had changed and the new one did indeed consider mum’s behaviour normal and not a cause for concern or action. Further confirmation was very reassuring.
Some of the Alzheimer’s Show’s webinars, including the one from the McClure solicitors, are still available to see on their Digital Hub here.
Take a moment to pause
Two people said they had notes on their phone to help them when life (and their mums) became a bit too much to cope with. One had: ’10 things not to say to someone with dementia’ (example here). The other had a note for when she was angry: ‘ Who suffers from my behaviour? (everyone), who benefits from my behaviour (no one)’.
Pressure
Lock-down, caring for a loved one (or more than one), covid, health problems, financial problems – the list goes on and stress and pressure tends to increase. A member said that she, and her family, had noticed that she had started to act in a way that was likely to affect her health. We talked about mental health issues which have been affecting many people in these strange time. Lack of social interaction, little exercise, starting to eat and/or drink more were all issues that resonated with the group.
We discussed what could be done. Inviting others, including family members, to help in caring could have benefits for everyone involved. Asking someone to have a role in care gives them a purpose and a feeling of being needed – something that may have disappeared recently, particularly if they have become isolated. You may have become stuck with a view of how life is panning-out. Changing your perspective, and the perspective of those around you, may be a challenge but can help you and others to break out of a rut.
If you are having difficulty it is always worth seeking out help from your GP or other health professional.
More pressure
A wait for a family member’s (not dementia related) diagnosis had stressed-out one of our Zoomers. The results had been good and the stress eased. Her husband (who has dementia) had not been able to go on the long walks he liked, due to need to keep safe from infection. This had been stressful. Now, due in part to the lack of exercise, he was not physically able to go on long walks. Our member had managed to go on a break. The husband stayed at home, with their daughter moving-in to care. The wife phoned every day and had the same conversation with her husband. It was only during the break that our member realised how much she needed to have a break.
Good news in the post
A wedding abroad cancelled, the airline cancelling the flights, freelance work drying up – what is the solution? Try something new. In this case – become a postman (post-person?). Our member had started her new job. This is completely different, working for someone, getting lots of exercise and fresh air – and doing something useful. She was smiling and looked like the change was doing her a lot of good.
Even when things go wrong, others can cope
What happens when your loved one is ill when you are away? We were give a good example – the people untrusted to care did the right thing and the arrangements made all worked well. Our carer was reassured and less stressed.
Finally, a carer told us about how well her regular carers we doing in looking after her mum. ‘They are fantastic!’
The evenings are getting darker earlier. There is a bit of a chill. I found a long-sleeve shirt, just for this afternoon. Roxana told us she has put her heating on (but she says she is still wearing shorts!).
The group said they enjoyed the crisp mornings and cosy fires in the autumn. They were also looking forward to getting out and about more as lock-down eases.
The polls had everyone thinking.
Janet led a discussion about how and when we might return to face-to-face group meetings. While some people were willing to consider coming together, there were concerns about how safe it would be. We will keep reviewing the options and proceed with caution.
Gyda had a fun craft – making a leaf out of paper and decorating it. We were invited to do some homework and bring back our leaf collections next week. Gyda also asked if members had any ideas for future crafts… watch this space.
Pearl showed us her knitting and came up with a property joke:
Pearl also gave us three songs including “Jenifer Juniper”, by Donovan – dedicated to Jen. Three of the volunteers had seen Donovan performing in 2016. His singing voice may have suffered a bit, but his stories from the 1960s were fascinating.
David read us another of his poems this one about Autumn:
Janet had a quiz about Autumn. The questions had been set by Australians. There was some discussion about the accuracy of some of the official answers. The main point of disagreement was about what Americans call football – Lyne and Pearl became quite animated!
Reflections 