Were school holidays too long or too short? For some of our group the “holidays” involved working. Others had lots of fun doing what they liked, without much supervision. They had some specific reminiscences:
R – In 1944 went to Sandwich Bay in Kent with 240 other boys from the orphanage he was in. They stayed in some sheds and swam in the sea, which was polluted with sewerage.
A – said he helped his Mum with chores and gardening. He also had a milk round.
L – remembers going to holiday camps, and staying with her aunt and Gran. There was a cliff lift at Bridgenorth which they spent all day going up and down.
J – stayed in Guildford in huts They had food coupons that went missing so they raided one girl’s stuff, who they thought had taken them. J later on found her coupons.
C – was off in the holidays straight to the stables with her sandwiches and squash. They were out all day. They played fox and hound. It was good fun and they had not a care in the world.
D – Enjoyed the freedom, running round the common all day. It was real fun and gave them independence No mobile phones. We made our own amusements and made us independent and mindful of roads and each other (had sense of responsibility).
Nikki, from BLJ Mind, is gradually getting out and about doing visits. They have a new person joining the team and will be able to be more active in the community.
Nikki was saving on her internet usage, so we only had a disembodied voice and her photo.
Gyda drew a flower with a thick outline. She then cut out the petals and filled-in with strips of cut up magazines. The group were keen, but the craft has tipped into homework for next week.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
A very warm evening. We managed a chat, without getting overheated.
A continuing caring role
A carer returned to the group after a short break. Sadly, her mother had passed away – now she was spending more time caring for her step-dad. As sometimes happens, she has taking on a role that might have been shared with other close relatives. For their own reasons those relatives are not playing a very active caring role. Our member had arranged a trip out for her step dad and was hoping it all went well.
Who takes responsibility?
In a continuing saga, a carer told us the care home she was dealing with would tell her that action had been taken, when it had not. The person she cares for had seemed unwell, eventually the care home reported that she had been taken to the local hospital. The hospital then said that they had found several things wrong with the person in care. Why the care home did not take action earlier is unclear.
When the carer visited the hospital, she noticed that several rings had gone missing. In due course she discovered that the care home had removed them before the trip to the hospital, but not mentioned this during several discussions.
Janet and Tatiana advised our member to ask the home when they had noticed the health issues. The hospital said they had been there for some time. The carer should speak to the care home manager and, if not happy, speak to the funding council.
Food and funding
Our member who cares for someone living on their own, is concerned that she is not preparing and eating meals. When visiting our member she eats heartily, but there is little evidence of food in her home. He intend to monitor the situation more closely and suggest options for simple meal – such as frozen dinners and having food delivered (such as Wiltshire Farm Foods). He may also consider suggesting having some visiting carers.
He has also found that a council benefit has stopped. As he has Lasting Power of Attorney, he is looking at the best way to manage correspondence, without upsetting the person he cares for.
What is true?
A carer visits her husband in a care home. He sits in a chair, is unresponsive and very sleepy. To get him standing takes a long tome and several people to help. The care home say that he is able to do things for himself and is eating. He now has a problem with his foot which is getting progressively worse. In the short time he has been in the care home he has required several visits to hospital. He was recently taken to hospital for a blood test (why couldn’t this be done in the home?)
Tatiana recommended that our carer speak to the podiatrist and arrange a meeting with the care home manager. Our carer should have been involved in monthly care plan reviews (she had not).
Visits to the loo
What happens when you forget what to do when you visit the toilet? A carer said he would accompany his wife to the loo 20-30 time a day, with varying success. He said he was managing, but was a little concerned as he had booked a couple of short (much needed) breaks for himself. There would be a live-in carer, but they would find the loo regime a challenge.
Dementia treatments
The latest report on our member’s dad who has Dementia with Lewy Bodies is quite positive. The memory clinic has (after a year’s wait) prescribed some medication and are looking to up the dosage as he becomes used to it. His mood has also improved, as he is now able to go and visit family members.
The “bad guy”
When you are living with someone you care for, you are sometimes the subject of their anger/mood swings. Our member’s mum has taken to having a nap in the afternoon, when she wakes-up, she is confused. This confusing now often leads to accusations of “wrong doing”. For example – mum tend to have a well stocked fridge and freezer, but some items will become out of date. The daughter has to carefully take these away and dispose of them without mum becoming upset that food is being taken.
Our member reports that she is managing quite well and this has been helped by continuing counselling and Cognative Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
Forgetting to drink
Dehydration can cause many problems. Our carer reported that her husband made his own drinks and had drinks provided for him, however, he often forgot to drink them. Dehydration had caused issues which led to hospitalisation in the past and our carer was doing her best to ensure her husband drank enough – especially in the how weather.
Vaccinating all care home staff
The government recently announced: “People working in CQC-registered care homes will need to be fully COVID-19 vaccinated with both doses”.
Whatever your views on this, it puts care homes under further pressure. Currently, care home costs vary, but are a real burden on those who have to pay (more information on costs from ‘Which’ here). Care homes tend to pay low wages and staff have very difficult jobs (here is an article from The Guardian). Covid has put an enormous strain on this sector (see a BBC article here).
Something needs to be done. The Prime Minister has made promises.
I have also benefited from CBT, thanks to Lewisham and Greenwich NHS trust.
The group were and (mostly) are fans of the radio. Our poll started a long discussion about favourite programmes. Two way family Favourites, Educating Archie and Workers’ Playtime came up. After some chat we even found two fans of The Goon Show and Dr Finlay’s Casebook. Mentioning no names, but 86% of the group had listened to Pirate Radio. We even had a couple of people who had worked on Pirate Radio stations (never caught).
Three members have an unusual reason for listening to radio into the night – they have tinnitus and the radio sounds (LBC was popular) masked the irritation of ringing in their ears.
When chatting about the devices used for listening to “The Radio”, we went from Cat’s Whiskers to Alexa. We also had some comments about accumulators and acid. I had a look on the internet and this sums up the experience: ‘In the early 50s I remember riding up to the cycle shop to swap a used accumulator for a fully charged one, a glass jar full of acid! riding home with it swinging from my handle bars! And at no time did anyone say “you be careful with that now” !!! Carefree days’. Thank goodness Alexa etc only require a good talking to.
Gyda had a very quick craft – making a summer parasol. It was so quick we almost missed the photo opportunity.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Some people have a chair as their favourite. Others have ornaments bought by their children/grandchildren. The list stretched from a filled cabinet to a religious artefact. Gadgets were at the top of the list. The most personal was a video recorder for playing tapes of the family from years gone by.
We all chose something that had personal story behind it. The video tapes were something special, the videos had been created using their video camera and focused on the children growing up. The tapes were held up for the group to see. The content had been transferred onto DVDs for the family to use – but having and holding the original video cassette had meaning to our member.
We also talked about breakages in the home (and who was responsible). The story that appealed to me was that of the dog who liked a tea cosy – unfortunately, when he scampered off with the cosy, he also took the tea pot – he was so good at this he managed to break three tea pots. The family now us a stainless steel tea pot.
Gyda invited us to create a beanstalk and a caterpillar. By next we we have been asked to draw or write what we find at the top of the beanstalk.
So, we say a big Thank You to all the wonderful volunteers who work for Reflections in The Friendship Group and The Carers Group. Also those making keep-in-touch calls to members, providing ad hoc help and supporting the web site . Thank you too to our volunteer trustees.
The BBC tells me – Covid: Zero daily deaths announced in UK for first time since last March!
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Such a simple subject, but it turned out there was lots to talks about.
We had a poll about favourite colours. The results were: 1. Blue 2. Red & Green. This was a bit odd, as we had asked everyone to wear clothes in their favourite colour – and there was clearly a love of pink. One member explained that, downstairs, the inside of her house was predominantly a tasteful green. Others chipped-in with comments on how they also liked green. We may have to review our voting system!
The homework was popular. Gyda is so pleased people are taking time to work on her crafts and produce some excellent results using basic bits and pieces.
Janice gave an update on the Carers Centre.
It’s great to have this venue available again. We anticipate our members will be popping down in the coming weeks. Their website is due for an update, but you can find some information here.
Gyda’s craft was creating a flower and a bee from paper. Very simple, very quick, very popular.
Pearl’s tunes were: “I can sing a rainbow”, “Yellow rose of Texas” and “Hi ho silver lining”. I believe Pearl’s home must be full of fun, she has hundreds of jokes and a ready selection of top tunes. We hope she will not be spending too much time at her local gym, now that has reopened – the group need her input.
Lynne’s quiz was about The Colour Green. Did you know the reason for wearing green on St. Patrick’s day is that legend has it leprechauns can’t see you if you’re wearing the colour. And if they do see you, they will pinch you!
It was difficult to fit in all the pictures in the Show and Tell session, but Janet managed it
David showed us a couple of his recent excellent paintings. I suspect he is running out of wall space to display them (we have two hanging in our house, while the group is not meeting in person).
Watch out for the sunshine… it is coming.
I always end with a reminder about how our charity can benefit from your purchases on Amazon. This week Reflections received its first payment from Amazon – a small amount – but thank you to those of you who have registered us on their system, it all helps us run our groups.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Some people may be flying off to Portugal, but we were happy talking about the seaside in the UK. That is apart from our member who comes from Portugal, and used to live near a really lovely beach.
I was rather sad that ‘The sea‘ and ‘Donkeys‘ weren’t more popular.
In the the “Other” category… C – enjoys playing cricket and picnics and making sand sculptures. She used to take her horse to the seaside. J – likes paddling, collecting shells and the sea food stall. She used to go cockling and took them back to the caravan for her Mum to cook.
Gyda invited us to draw a list of seaside items. The speed of the session resulted in enthusiastic doodling rather than artistic masterpieces – here is Pearl’s effort. I love it!
Gyda’s Letter craft – wrapping the paper letter in coloured paper or wool.
Next was “Yes” or “No” quiz time…
Lynne’s quiz was tricky, as usual. No answers here – these are the easy questions.
While the group was on we had sunshine and showers – a good day to stay in on Zoom.
Our conversations ranged from growing seeds to Shove Ha’penny boards – not forgetting our couple who had just featured on’Songs of Praise’. A range as eclectic as ever.
Keep safe and keep healthy.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
The full title of the session was “Things you did as a child that you wouldn’t do as an adult”.
As usual, we had a pole. This time we found there were a lot of thing our group members would not be doing now:
In the ‘Other’ category we had: J climbed a long rope after a gym lesson when the teacher had left. She wasn’t supposed to, and found it was very dirty towards the top, the dirt attached to her clothes and she wasn’t popular when she got home. – C was a good climber, but doesn’t climb trees anymore. – M was a tomboy, climbing anything especially if she was dared. When 8 months pregnant (in her twenties) she climbed a tree to cut some branches down. And, when playing blind mans buff she hit the bridge and fell 6 to 8 feet onto a field, luckily she didn’t fall in the nearby rocky river.
Last week’s card making had proved very popular a homework. Here are a few examples:
Not to be outdone, Gyda showed us how to make a simple picture frame out of a single pice of paper. Simple!
Another successful 5 minute craft.
Pearl didn’t let technical difficulties interrupt the jokes:
A few of us admitted to having been Cub/Scouts/Brownies/Guides/Adventure Scouts. Only David had the photographic evidence:
The group told us a few stories, which gave the impression, when young, they had a problem with authority. Rebels!
We all look forward to the further easing of restrictions and Boris telling us we can hug again.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Still on Zoom, still able to meet people in a variety of home situations.
Mental Awareness Week
This year Metal Awareness Week is 10-16 May. The theme is “Connecting with nature”. You can find out more, including Top Tipshere.
We had a smaller group than normal at this meeting, but they had plenty to discus. As usual, there is a summary below.
Being stable
A carer says his wife is now stable. Part of being ‘stable’ is that she is awake at night a lot and is also unpredictable. This continues to affect his well-being. Fortunately, her carers are coming back after a break during Covid. They will come 2 days a week for 4 hours. After a prolonged period of isolation with his wife, our carer is now hoping to get down to Cornwall to visit family.
Long Covid
Our carer who had covid, and now appears to have “Long Covid”, says he still tired. He was being monitored, but not any more. He may have to go back to the doctor, to discuss his ongoing problems. Once he has come downstairs, he prefers not to go back because he knows he will need to lie down to recover. He was building a shed but now hasn’t the energy to complete it.
His sister (who he cares for) came for lunch yesterday. She had a good meal. He thinks she doesn’t cook for herself. When she visited she had fruit, which she cut into very small pieces, she did the same with vegetables. He doesn’t think she cooks any carbohydrates.
She has a urine infection. Janet said that her thirst receptors may not be working, so he should watch her fluids. She doesn’t have a support package. When he goes to look in on her, he could say “Shall I make us a cup of tea?”. This would give him the opportunity to have a look in the cupboards to see what is in them.
The sister said she started to cook something on the stove, but when she came back an hour later it was burnt. She is loosing her hair – we speculated she might be due to her not be getting enough protein. She has dementia medication and has meds for loss of balance. It’s difficult finding the right mix of drugs to help and better quality of life/ side effects/ positives and negatives.
Paranoia
The brother said she gets a bee in her bonnet – example: watching Ian Wright she said their Dad was violent and he had to say that their dad wasn’t like that. He said COVID has helped him to become more patient. The sister has problems with paranoia and persecution complex. Her medication may need to be reviewed. Another carer said that his wife also had paranoia. It is distressing for her and the people around her. This couple had had zoom calls with her consultant. As a result of that discussion, this carer recommended keeping a diary of observations, so that you can see a pattern and any changes.
The first carer is going to find out about nutrition for his sister. He may try to get someone in to do breakfast and an evening meal. The sister is very suspicious and makes him feel on tenterhooks all the time. She is uncertain about her world. He agreed they need help from the memory clinic.
Tatiana said to monitor Aileen and liaise with social services. Try to gradually build up trust. For example – “we can have lunch at your place. We can cook together. Tell us what we can make.” He can then discover where she’s at with the cooking. He needs to find ways to access her cupboards and fridge. He should consider this as a way to solve the problem.
Another carer told us her dad is calmer. He has had a change of medication. He has an appointment at the Memory Clinic chis week. He is suspicious all the time. He got some mail and wouldn’t put it down, then hid it for 2 weeks. On a positive note, they have received a pack of activities from cognitive therapy – over 100 things to help and prompts to stimulate him.
Yoga Nidra
Janet revived a previously popular session and invited us to enter “a state in which the body is completely relaxed, and the practitioner becomes systematically and increasingly aware of the inner world by following a set of verbal instructions.” [Wikipedia] As usual, this was popular.
A special thanks to Gyda, who has being taking the notes for these meetings and the Friendship Group meetings. She is a star.
There was quite a bit of coming and going today. It seems more hospital appointments are happening. There are also more care home visits. Good news.
Janet asked people to think about the possibility of the group returning to Shrewsbury House in a few months time. We would need to do risk assessment and fit-in with the Community Centre’s guidelines. We will see how the government’s advice develops and members views.
Nikki, from BLG Mind, popped-in for a while. Good news: she has been promoted. I think this means she has even more work to do!
Gyda’s card making craft
The front and inside of the card – a nice wedding craft.
Avoid the wind and rain – the sun will be back soon.
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Always a popular discussion topic, and today we had a very good chat:
D – was in digs and then sofa surfing.
J – bought their own house, in Charlton, which was unusual at that time. They had a cooker but no stair carpet. Then had their first baby.
M – left home to come to England in 1962. She lived in Forest Gate until she got married in 1974 moving to Plumsted, then Abbey Wood.
R – at age 15 had to leave the homes he had been living in with no money and no clothes to a hostel in east London. Then in 1951 he went into the army.
O & L – L still in the same house. O left home at 12 to look after children. The parents thought she was 15/16. She stayed for 3 years just looking after the children. There was a housekeeper and a cook. She still keeps in touch with them.
P – lived in a flat at the top of a house, then to Maidstone with first husband, who went off with someone, so she went back home to Bromley in the flat upstairs. Then she met P
M – came from Yorkshire in wartime to London and have lived where they are now and across the road from where her parents lived.
G & M – lived next door to each other before they were married. Then they moved to Surrey then Barnfield Gardens for 42 years and now they live in Maidstone. They married in 1969
G – moved down to London from Liverpool to teacher training college. Lived in halls of residence and digs.
Gyda showed us a simple way to build your own home – at a very low cost.
Pearl’s tunes were The Bay city rollers – “Bye Bye Baby” (RiP Les McKeown), Tom Jones “Green green grass of home” and John Denver “Take me home country road”.
Pearl was also today’s quiz master. Here are some sample questions: ‘What do you respond when someone says “See you later alligator?”‘; ‘What is a baby goat called?’; and How many tentacles do octopuses have?’
We are interested to see the Oscar winning film ‘The Father’: “Led by stellar performances and artfully helmed by writer-director Florian Zeller, The Father presents a devastatingly empathetic portrayal of dementia.“
You may now nominate Reflections as your charity when you buy items on Amazon. Click herefor more information. It does not cost you (or the retailer) anything and Reflections will receive 0.5% of what you spend.
Reflections 