“Movies” was a popular choice for the theme of the day. Fortunately, we had time to chat about our top films and film stars.
We did have a packed programme to get through – including Thaumatopes, more on them later…
Everyone was keen to tell us about their favourite film. It helped to pay attention to the discussions, as they included the answers to some of Janet’s quiz questions later.
We had lots to talk about when we moved into our discussion rooms. Janet was in the cosmopolitan room with Danny joining us from Finland and Roxana linking-in from Romania. She also had Mario, who comes from Italy and Stella, who comes from Spain. Janet discovered that while Spain had Saturday morning pictures (like the UK), Italy had Sunday afternoon pictures.
Gyda’s craft was making a Thaumatope.
The aim is to make a paper spinner, with pictures on both sides – such as a bowl and a fish. When you spin the paper it looks like the fish is in the bowl. Genius.
Gyda suggested that, for homework, we come up with some other thaumatopes. No pressure!
Pearl’s jokes raised a titter or two. Here is one that had all our ears:
Janet had a book themed quiz ready for us. Our newest member did very well. If we ever set up a Reflections quiz team, I think we have at least one member with a good knowledge of books.
Danny gave us some tips for being comfortable (from his log cabin in Finland):
As life starts slowly to return to a new “normal” for the time being, for some people life will never be the same.
Sadly, we and our team were deeply saddened to learn of the deaths of 12 people associated with our Friendship and Carers Support Groups over the last 3 months. Our love and thoughts go to the people who have died and their family and friends who mourn them.
In memory of the people who have died, we offer the poem, Helen by Tanya Lord, read at the funeral of a special lady, our friend Doris, who died in April. It was read by her grandaughter in law, Louise, who kindly gave permission to share the poem.
In support of family and friends who mourn their loved ones, we offer the poem Memories by Catherine Turner read by Janet.
Though they may be gone, we hold those who have died close to us, linked by the memories we shared.
Janet and I were very pleased to welcome a new member to the group today. We are keen for more new members to join us – if you are interested and want to know more, please contact us on 07981 741 499.
This session focused on books and reading. First, we asked early arrivers at the group about reading at school and in later life. There was a quick and lively response.
Our final poll was about books members would recommend. By this time there were more people participating and they not only came up with names – but some also had books to hand.
A couple of members said they could not settle to read, as their partners kept interrupting them. Others came up with further recommendations:
Diane Settafield – “Once upon a river”
Anything about Mary Queen of Scots
Various authors – “The family poetry book”
Evelyn Waugh – “Brideshead revisited”
F Scott Fitzgerald – “The Great Gatsby”
Danny Ellis – “Boy at the gate”
Karen Casey – “The promise of a new day”
Alan Moore – “Watchmen”
Geny then arrived to stretch us and chill us out.
Zoom turbulence meant we lost Geny for a couple of minutes, but she picked up where she left off – and we were away again.
The non-yogis spent the time discussing their gardens. Our resident artist had produced another masterpiece.
We all came back together for a quick craft with Gyda.
Gyda had us making a bookmark.
I was a bit slow again – so – more homework!
Gyda invited the group to decorate their bookmarks and bring them back next week.
Pearl popped up with the first of her tunes with a name of a member of the group. We all sang “Oh! Carol” (by Neil Sedaka) to Carole. She was most pleased… Next week another tune (incidentally, does anyone know a song with Peter in the title?)
Janet had a book themed quiz ready for us. Our newest member did very well. If we ever set up a Reflections quiz team, I think we have at least one member with a good knowledge of books.
Gerry told us he joins his extended family online for quizzes each week. He didn’t take much persuading to agree to come up with a quiz for us next week. I hope it’s not too difficult.
Janet and I were very pleased to welcome a record turn-out of group members, volunteers and special guests.
Our guest of honour was The Mayor of Royal Greenwich, councillor Linda Bird. We were very pleased that Linda had entered into the spirit of “dressing up and making your own hat” for the birthday celebrations.
We asked the group about their most memorable milestone birthday (winner: 60th) and their favourite way to celebrate a milestone birthday (winner: a holiday somewhere special). We then adjourned to rooms with smaller groups. Mayor Linda circulated the rooms and enjoyed a few anecdotes from members.
Guests: Roxana, BLG Mind – Sharon, Carers Centre – Angelika, Dementia Action Group
By 2pm it was showtime! We welcomed back Emma – the group’s friend and the person who, without the pandemic, would have been running our Reflections Singing Group since March 2020.
Emma led us in some warm-up exercises, then ran through a wide selection of sing-a-long tunes.
The group’s energy rose and we started to dance. The mayor was jiving with her partner Tom – and they were not alone.
We tried some clever Zoom options – like sharing our Treasure Map, created by Gyda.
Gyda ran our first ever interactive on-line treasure hunt. We were given a series of rhyming clues to the locations of the candles we needed to collect (in the right order).
The Hunt was popular and, to Gyda’s surprise, the group asked for more interactive activities in the future.
It was a very busy afternoon
Gyda gave us “Gratitude” to reflect on, at the end:
Janet thanked the group members, guests and volunteers for coming today and their support in making Reflections the success it is. We all thank Janet for her hard work, inspiration and leadership.
Here’s to another successful year for Reflections.
We welcomed our lively group for another wide-ranging discussion at the Reflections Carers Support Group monthly meeting.
Looking for a care home
Several members said the pressures of being a family, living with someone with dementia and confined within their home for a long time, had created tensions, particularly when the loved one was clearly moving on in their dementia journey. One member told us that she thought it could be time to start looking for a care home for her mum. The carer was very stressed, she said her family were stressed and mum was stressed. She was concerned that a change would be bad for her mum, but something needed to happen. Unfortunately, even though we appear to be coming out of lock-down in many areas, viewing prospective care homes is still not possible at the moment. In the interim, the GP and Memory clinic are helping.
Visiting a care home
A group member told us how things had been improving. Her mum’s care home had advised her to stay away when the pandemic arrived. “It was just like pressing pause” and she was concerned her mum would forget her. However, they meet via FaceTime. She is now able to visit the home once a week and they speak, either in the garden, or through an open door. Mum remembers her and they enjoy a chat. She sends a letter with a memorable photo once a week, and a member of the care home staff reads it to mum. Everyone at the home has had 2 Covid tests and no one had the virus. Very soon the care home will allow two visits a week.
Language
At this meeting, and at our Friendship Group, we were reminded that when English is not your first language, dementia can bring communication issues. You may try to express yourself, but be met with blank expressions. You might be speaking clearly and making perfect sense, but not in English. Or, you could be in a care home where few, if anyone, speaks the language you find most comfortable.
If you have a moment, you might be interested in this article from the “International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry” [great title!]. It is worth persevering past the academic language (you may consider that the staff comments sometimes say more about them than the people they are dealing with).
Stress, rage and frustration
We regularly revisit the impact of stress on the mental and physical health of our carers. While carers may wear a smile, it often disguises what they are dealing with. Carers feel they should be able to cope, even when it would be unreasonable for anyone to cope with the issues they are facing on their own. It is not a sign of weakness to seek out help, it is a sign of strength.
Carers UK produced advice on “Coronavirus – protecting your mental wellbeing” which you can read here.
Alzheimer’s Research UK produced a report in 2015 “Dementia in the Family: The impact on carers”. You can read more here.
The slightly unusual, becomes usual
Some comments from today’s group: “Dad thinks different rooms are different houses”. “We go out for a walk every day – she hates it”. “If she is not interested, she pretends she’s is asleep”. “She was agoraphobic, now I’m concerned she wants to go out all the time”.
Goodbye’s
Sadly, we say goodbye to two more relatives of our carers who have passed away. One of the carers came to the group and we were pleased to hear her story. We send our best wishes to everyone in these difficult times.
Peter’s piece: The Alzheimer’s Show – Admiral nurse service
Janet and I attended the first webinar of this year’s Alzheimer’s Show run by the nurses. Some of the key points they made were:
They have a helpline (see below) which anyone can use (you don’t need to have an Admiral Nurse in your area).
If the line is busy, leave a message, they aim to get back to you within 24 hours.
Memory Clinics across the country are reporting a 6 month delay in seeing people (Janet is checking with our local Oxlea’s service).
People with dementia were left off the government’s list of vulnerable people.
Family members of people with dementia were not classified as “key workers”.
Care homes were starting to accept new residents, but they would need to self isolate for 14 days.
Day Centres had not announced when they would reopen. When they did, numbers attending would need to be reduced, with steps taken to minimise risk of infection.
There are lots more free webinars coming up from The Alzheimer’s Show. To find our more see here. If you have an interest in a topic, it is worth registering, as even if you are not able to attend, they will send you a link to a recording of the webinar.
A busy afternoon at the Friendship Group. Fortunately, at least one member of the group was keen to keep us focused on the essentials.
Janet asked the group about whether they enjoyed their school sports. There was mixed feedback – Danny said he liked them because they got him our of boring lessons! We also had a poll about members fitness activities in adult life. Two people picked belly dancing, the others brought up cycling, dancing, running, Nordic stick walking and more.
Everyone went into their rooms for a chat and Roxana had the first of her one-to-one information discussions. Our late arrivals, who are Irish, took the opportunity to discus “Irish things” (whatever they are).
Danny led a discussion about how we have been using the information from his regular sessions on “Homes for Wellbeing”
Due the wonders of Zoom, Danny joined us from his holiday in Estonia. Here he is in the local swamp.
If you want to know more about Estonian swamps (or “Bogs”) I have found a guide here.
If you want to see more about Estonia read more here.
Pearl had lined-up some more great songs for us to sing: “Football Crazy” and “Walk Tall”
Gyda gave us our toughest craft challenge so far. With card, pen, scissors, and a lot of concentration – some of us managed to make a trophy cup. Gyda suggested decorating it with our own words/pictures.
Janet had created her own quiz about sport. It was a bit easier than some of our recent quizzes and I managed to do well – but not as good as a couple of members who managed to get 19/20 right!
Janet started the countdown to Reflection’s 4th Birthday Party next week. It should be fun, with special guests, new activities and Emma leading a singing session.
We had a record turn-out for one of our Zoom meetings. We were very pleased that 21 people popped-in for a chat. There were also 7 volunteers, plus Sharon from the Carers Centre and Roxana from BLG Mind. A packed afternoon. Janet started us off with a question about shops we remember.
Not everyone voted, but Woolworth was popular, as were a few department stores from the local area such as Hinds of Eltham and Chiesmans of Lewisham. The Independent local shop remembered was in Liverpool – a “Pound Shop“, that in those days sold items for pennies.
We split into rooms for more discussions. As we chatted, we were pleasantly surprised to be joined by some new Zoomers who managed to sign-in for the first time. Roxana had a one-to-one with a member who wanted some advice.
Geny returned for some more seated yoga.
This week’s session was particularly popular. The group enjoyed the arm exercises.
Janet had compiled her own quiz based on well known TV adverts from years ago. We did remember most of the adverts, but not all the details about the products and makes. The “Shake and vac” advert led to some singing – and I believe Sharon said she still uses it. 17/20 was the best score for the quiz.
Lynne was almost back – we are very sure she will probably resurface next time.
It was time for tea, so most of us went home. It was great to see some members who hadn’t seen each other since the beginning of lock-down stay on for a bit more of a chat after the session had ended.
Pets were very popular today. There were 2 dogs, 1 cat and 3 animatronic cats (Eric, Ernie and the newly arrived Mr Preview). Unfortunately, most were camera shy.
Here is Janet with one that didn’t get away. You might spot a likeness to Janet – see Gyda’s craft session below.
Our chats in small groups focused mainly on animals. Pearl told us about her pet cat who (to his surprise) came on a delivery van from Liverpool. Ron had a tale about a camel being shot, but I missed the full story, so it might have been shot with a camera or a gun.
Gyda’s guided us through drawing ourselves as a cat.
Roxana, from BLG Mind, joined in and came up with a cat of character.
Some of us are slacking with Gyda’s homework. Mary reminded us that we should be doing more.
Pearl had searched out a substantial list of animal sing-a-long tunes. A highlight of her audience participation session was the golden oldie: “Nellie the Elephant“
Does anyone remember ‘Uncle Mac”? Pearl does, but she might be on her own.
For nostalgia buffs: Uncle Mac appeared on the BBC’s Home Service in ‘Children’s hour”. He had a strict philosophy: “Our established policy is that nothing but the best is good enough for children … our wish is to stimulate their imagination, direct their reading, encourage their various interests, widen their outlook, and inculcate the Christian principles of love of God and their neighbour.” [BBC Quarterly, Jan 1948].
Danny gave us tips about finding things in our home. His tips were based on those suggested by Wendy Mitchell, who was diagnosed with young onset dementia. There are simple things you can do to make it easier for a person living with dementia to find things in their home. Wendy explains her tips in a video which you can find on Danny’s page.
I think this could be the pre-breakfast exercise for everyone
Janet led us through: “Tony Chestnut” and Tony Martin‘s “Three Little Birds”
Gyda suggests we have less unease:
Roxana stayed on at the end of the session to provide some advice and guidance to a group member. We are very pleased to continue our links with BLG Mind. You may see more information about their services on their website here.
Janet finished the session with some notices. Readers will be interested to see the Alzheimer’s Show 2020 will be online and you can register for free information webinars here. Our report on last year’s show is here.
For those interested in further reading The Recovery College magazine provides interesting and thought provoking articles as well as things to do. You can sample the latest edition here.
We were very pleased to see our regulars today – and some returners. Dot and Jen managed to squeeze in a sandwich and cup of tea before we got busy…
Holidays were the theme of the day.
We asked everyone where and when they had their favourite holiday – they came up with a wide variety of answers – Egypt was popular, even though for one person it was during their military service.
We spent some time in discussions in small groups. One group of carers took the opportunity to discuss some serious matters. Others came up with schooldays pranks. A few even talked about holidays.
Gyda’s craft was a big fish!
This one was simple enough for most of us to master.
Gyda suggested those of us who were a bit slow (me) should consider it homework.
Pearl entertained us with three songs, including a karaoke version of “Summer Holiday”. Cliff (aka The King of Rock & Roll) would be proud.
Pearl’s pains were nothing compared to these panes:
No quiz from Lynne. In fact, no Lynne. She was off doing something important elsewhere. Danny was awol too, he had work to do. Both will be back with us next week.
David recited his latest highly topical poem:
David had been practicing some of Gyda’s craft ideas. I managed to come-up with my version of a day-in-the-life booklet, as demonstrated last week.
Gerry’s poem on the theme of holidays was “Day Tripper”:
We had a couple of people who asked for a chat with Sharon, from the Carers Centre. She couldn’t be with us today, but had arranged to follow-up with people after the meeting.
Gyda’s was back with an exercise for the 5 senses:
We had a team briefing before the group started, as it was Eric and Ernie’s first session on Zoom. Everyone seemed pleased to see them and they were very well behaved.
Today we were talking about childhood. We all took the opportunity to sort out some pictures of when we were children, and some people were willing to show the group what they found.
The polls this week were about being in school. Most people had not enjoyed their time at school and even more disliked school dinners (one agreed with me that the dinners were ok, except for the lumpy custard).
We all joined-in the discussions in small groups. I think David came up with another dubious story about his youth, but I only managed to catch his mischievous smile at the end.
Geny joined us again for a (mainly) seated yoga session.
You may find more information about Geny, including her yoga classes, by clicking the link below
The small group who didn’t join the yoga had the benefit of rather a long chat – Geny’s signal (from her seaside location) had a bit of a pause, so we restarted and had the full session. Thanks Geny.
Gyda have us a rather testing craft today.
We made a book by folding and cutting an A4 piece of paper.
It’s mainly for drawing your day, as it’s easier, but you can add words too.
Set up the book by writing the following: Front cover “Tell me about your day” and “Name” at the bottom – Page 1 “WHO” at the top and “WHAT” at the bottom – Page 2 “WHERE” at the top and “WHEN” at the bottom – Page 3 “AND HOW” at the top – Page 4 blank – Page 5 “THE WHOLE DAY” at the top – Page 6 “TURNED OUT” at the bottom. Then you can fill it in with drawings of your day.
Pearl entertained us with some songs. She sang the single bed version of “There were 10 in the bed” – this time there were only 6 in the bed.
Danny’s talk today was on the importance of daylight on our wellbeing..
Danny told us how daylight affects our circadian rhythm and helps with metabolising food. He advised spending time in the rooms with good light, maybe changing rooms throughout the day if necessary. He also advised of the importance of going outside, to get the maximum daylight and make a connection with the outdoors.
The group over ran a bit. We had rather a lot of people popping in and out – including another first for us – a Korean carer in PPE gear!
We had a break to prepare for the singing.
Our last song was very appropriate, given Eric and Earnie were with us. Tony had sent us his newly recorded version of “Bring me sunshine” at 2:39am today. Reflections, and our friends, are 24/7 not 9 to 5. We can all sing-a-long to this one.
At the beginning we thought it might prove challenging to fill 2 hours with our virtual Friendship Group. Instead, we are finding there is more than we can fit in each week, which is wonderful.
Reflections 